Tag Archives: marketing automation

The future of marketing is the same as it was 32 years ago – according to Marketo

11 Friday Mar 2016

Posted by in Advertising, Branding, Digital, Digital marketing, Direct Marketing, Email marketing, Marketing, Marketing Automation, Sales

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In 1984, Apple launched its first personal computer to change the future of computers. And in 1984 ADMA held a 4 day conference in Sydney at the Regent Hotel in Circular Quay. It was a huge success and where I first met my good friend and business partner, Drayton Bird.

Apple

On one evening, there were two boats for the delegate’s harbour cruise. The majority of the delegates crammed aboard the first boat, which left a small handful for the second. Mr Bird and I boarded the second boat. Despite our best efforts all evening, eating prawns and oysters, while drinking for Queen and country, we hardly put a dent in the seafood. We did give the beer and wine stocks a decent nudge though.

The topics at the ADMA conference included such things as the future of marketing, acquisition and retention, CRM, customer relationships, customer contact strategies, touchpoint analysis, data driven marketing, personalised messaging and much more. The consensus was the future of marketing was not mass marketing, but direct marketing – how to acquire and keep customers profitably – driven by relationships, data, insights, computers, testing, tracking, analytics and relevant personalised creative delivered in context.

There was nothing really new though, as marketing has always been, and always will be all about, acquiring and keeping customers profitably.

So it was with a sense of deja vu, I attended a breakfast seminar this week in the MCA, located next door to the former Regent Hotel (now the Four Seasons). It was run by Marketo, a very successful marketing automation software company – and it was about the future of marketing. (Hint – you can always draw a crowd when you’re predicting the future).

fortune teller

Predicting the future of marketing…

Of course there were the obligatory marketing buzzwords – our industry would die without them: these included “customer journey”, “incremental customer journeys”, “customer journey tools”, “customer engagement”, “engagement marketing”, and the new impressive job title for senior marketers – “the CMO”.

It’s interesting how a job title changes over time. The head of marketing used to be the VP of Marketing, or the Marketing Director, or the National/Regional Marketing Manager. Now the same role is the CMO – and they occupy a similar spot on the corporate food chain as they did in 1984. Though they are only ever addressed as an acronym – CMO – never Chief Marketing Officer.

CMO-tenure-feature2

But I digress.

Marketo’s business depends on marketers believing the future of marketing lies with computers and software that automates what humans used to do. So we were told mass marketing is dead – despite it being everywhere you look on posters, public transport, buildings, television, radio, in letterboxes, cinema, the internet, sports clothing, coffee cups, etc.

Curiously there were Marketo branded cups, booklets, pens, lanyards, banners and clothing everywhere you looked at the event – it was a riot of purple – which sort of argued against the mass media argument, if you get my argument?

Marketo 1

Marketo’s mass marketing was everywhere…

And certainly the Ehrenberg-Bass Institute for Marketing Science, publishers of the brilliant book “How Brands Grow” wouldn’t agree mass marketing is dead. They’ve proved it using science and customer data.

Apparently campaigns delivered directly to your customers to sell them stuff, via email, mail, phone etc, are also dead. Yet the seminar, which was free, was promoted directly to me via email. Go figure? But I’m easily confused.

So the future is not about mass marketing or even directly selling to your customers. What fool wants to sell things to stay in business? We were told the future is all about customer engagement – connecting with customers on every touchpoint in their buying journey – using data and computers to delivering your non-selling messages along the way.

Given Marketo’s business model though, one might cynically believe their predictions for the future of marketing are a tad biased?

I suspect Bob Hoffman, the Ad Contrarian wouldn’t agree with them either. While the event was being run, he published his latest blog titled Data Vs Probability in which he candidly argues: the more you study data, the more you realise that data is just the residue of probability – brilliant insight.

The speaker summarised by revealing the following bullet points as the key things we all need to understand about the future of marketing:

  • Relationships
  • Listening
  • Marketing everywhere you look
  • Outcomes
  • Context
  • Engagement marketing

So in summary, nothing has changed in 32 years – even the location for marketing events.

Technology changes, humans don’t. We still buy emotionally and justify rationally. Only now we have loads more channels in which to learn and buy – and marketers have loads of new channels in which to advertise (sorry, I meant place their content in context).

The problem for marketers of course is what I call “The John Howard Conundrum“. Just as he put it to Australians in his 2004 election campaign: “Who do you trust to run the economy…” – now marketers have the same conundrum as voters did: “who do you trust to do your marketing in the future?“

John Howard

Who do you trust to do your marketing?

I do like the good folk at Marketo, they put on a great show – but I’m not sure the average punter really wants brands to have computers engage with them and follow them through life on their buying journeys – whatever that means.

Most research I’ve seen, concludes customers don’t care much about brands except in the moment they buy or when something goes wrong. People don’t awaken and rush into the day looking for a relationship with their toothpaste or a tin of sardines, for example.

Unfortunately much of the customer engagement software we’re being sold, is driven from the marketer’s point of view, not the customer’s, and leaves cigarette burns all over the punters in its wake.

But the brekkie and coffee were good, the view at Circular Quay was enhanced by the presence of the QE2, while the presentation was not too heavy.

qe2

The QE2 in Circular Quay

And for a couple of hours I drifted back in time to 1984, when I was younger and enthusiastically thought the future of marketing was all about:

  • Relationships
  • Listening
  • Marketing everywhere you look
  • Outcomes
  • Context
  • Customer relationship management

Aaah, what’s old is new again, again and again…well done Marketo!

Youi’s awesomely useless marketing automation continues to damage its brand…

09 Wednesday Mar 2016

Posted by in Advertising, BIG DATA, Branding, Customer Service, Digital, Digital marketing, Email marketing, Marketing Automation, Sales

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Regular readers may recall my recent customer experience when I tried to engage with Youi, as I went on my smash repair journey. #totallynotawesomeyoui

Wow, three different marketing buzzwords or phrases, plus a hashtag in one sentence:)

Well folks, the totally not awesome marketing automation system at Youi has done it again. It sent me another passionate survey from The Youi Team – almost a month after I picked up my car from the smash repairer.

second awesome survey

It’s the same as the first survey – useless. It doesn’t allow me any room to explain my answer. I only get to click on one word. I was going to reply directly to surveys@youi.com.au but I know from past experience, the passionate team never looks at this email inbox.

I tried the suggestion at the bottom of the survey, as I couldn’t select any of the words shown above: “If you are unable to select any of the words shown above, click here and follow the prompts.”

When I clicked, it just opened another version of the same survey in a browser!

second survey 2

I have now phoned, sent text messages and emailed Youi, as well as posted in social media – yet the passionate Youi team hasn’t responded once. I suggest they fire their digital marketing team, as they obviously aren’t as awesome as they claim.

In the last month, Youi has launched a bunch of new television commercials with their presenter driving around in customer’s cars, while bragging about Youi’s service. The presenter is the smarmy bloke my kids think is a bit creepy or sketchy.

So given their obvious problems, I’d like to help the awesome Youi team. Apart from teaching them to speak English, not Marketing, I’d like to volunteer myself to do a testimonial on one of their TVCs. The sketchy bloke could drive in my car, now it’s been repaired, and I could share my awesome Youi journey with him for all the viewers to hear.

I think dear reader, it would be like, totally awesome, don’t you???

awesome

How Youi’s “awesome” marketing automation is damaging its brand…

15 Monday Feb 2016

Posted by in Advertising, BIG DATA, Branding, Customer Service, Digital, Digital marketing, Email marketing, Marketing Automation, Sales

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In haste two years ago I had to buy insurance for a car I bought second hand. I did a quick search online and ended up with Youi after they sharpened their pencil. They tried to increase the premium after twelve months, despite having no contact with me in the first year of the policy, so I challenged them and avoided an increase.

In the first week of December just over two months ago, my car was damaged by an anonymous driver. Well I know who did it – it was a truck driver doing work for the NSW Roads & Maritime Department. I parked my car across the road and that afternoon all these trucks parked opposite it, in preparation for night work on our road.

When I went to drive it the next morning the roof rack, top of the rear hatch and rear door were smashed – the damage was at the same height as the rear trays on those same trucks carrying the road working machines the night before. No apology note, just smashed car bits on the road. My taxes at work.

car

My taxes at work…

So I ring Youi and explain the problem. They direct me to a smash repairer to get an assessment on the damage. I left the car with the repairer and he rang me later that day to tell me the claim had been approved, but as it was three weeks before Christmas they didn’t want to do the job. Too close to their holidays – bugger mine. I’d have to bring the car back on the 12th January!

This meant I couldn’t use the car for the holiday period, as one tail light was smashed. Hours after the smash repairer visit, I received an automated text message from Youi telling me the claim was approved and to take my car to the smash repairer. Gotta luv technology.

Then I get an automated text from my “dedicated claims advisor” who processed the claim, saying I could contact her with any questions relating to the claim. So I did. I asked her if my policy had a rental car in it, as I couldn’t find a copy – it had been emailed not mailed. I didn’t get a response. I sent another message asking for an alternate repairer – and you guessed it, no response.

Claims adviser

my dedicated claims advisor didn’t get me…

Frustrated, I ring Youi and ask someone if they can help me. They tell me there wasn’t a rental car in the policy, so at least I knew the situation.

Then I get an email with the following subject line:

Awesome service from Youi – Client Survey For Claim Number…

survey

It was sent from the passionate Youi Team. As you readers know, any marketer worth their salt, never sends an email from a team. I’ve written about this before – teams don’t send emails, individuals do.

The survey is dysfunctional:

We’re passionate about providing you with awesome service which sets us apart from other companies.
You recently had a claim and we’d like to know how you felt about your service experience with us.
Click on the word that best describes the level of service you received from Josephine Marvelous. (I replaced the advisor’s real name)

  • Awesome
  • Good
  • Acceptable
  • Bad
  • Very bad

I couldn’t answer the survey. The telephone service to get the claim approved was good. Josephine did the job she is paid to do. Though I’ve never really considered a claims clerk noting answers to questions, was something to regard as “awesome” – but hey, I speak English, not Marketing, in my daily life?

how you use your car

It’s not hard to get how I use my car, because I can’t – use it that is…

The problem with the survey of course is my overall claims experience has been an awesome horror – yet I cannot explain this within the survey, without implying Josephine did a bad job. Who designs this stuff? Do they live in the real world?

Another automated technology fail

So I replied to the team with a long email message about the fact they couldn’t get my car repaired until the new year and asking for help. Not one of the passionate team members has had the courtesy to reply. Another win for automated marketing technology. The computer can send me a survey from the Youi Team asking about “awesome Youi” but the poor old sod who pays the team’s salary cannot send one back to them.

I have no idea if my message made it – the address was surveys@youi.com.au and I didn’t get a bounce notice.

The new year is rung in and on the 12th January I deliver my car to the smash repairer. Seemed to be a bit of a family business, given the bloke I spoke with referred to his missus not being in the office yet. He used a highly sophisticated CRM system “Just write your name and mobile on that pad and we’ll call you when it’s ready” he said. So I wrote my details on the scrap of paper and tore it off, leaving it on the bench.

He said the job will take about two weeks. In the meantime I finally get an automated email from Youi. Is the awesome team alive and acknowledging me?  No. The email has nothing to do with my claim. In December my credit card expired, so I had to endure the horrors of trying to update the card on non-user-friendly websites. They never make it easy do they?

credit card message

One of the monthly automatic payments was to YOUI. And now they wanted to talk with me because my payment had not been cleared due to the expired card – nothing to do with my claim. They chased my money, but gave no service for the payment.

Three weeks after dropping the car off I’ve heard nothing – from Youi or the smash repairer – so I ring the repairer. “Sorry mate, the parts have to be imported and take 3 weeks, so it won’t be ready until next month“.

“Why didn’t you order them in the first week of December, so they would be ready when I returned in January I asked?” Silence on the other end of the phone.

It’s now been more than 2 months and I still don’t have my car. I’ve sent Youi texts, emails and phone calls in response to their awesome marketing automation messages – and I’ve had nothing in reply.

Their brand is being built by a non-thinking smash repairer and an automated marketing machine – it’s no wonder my opinion of Youi is a tad less than awesome.

Even worse, their ads with the smarmy presenter keep interrupting my television viewing. My kids, who I consider very good judges of ads, as they are not tainted by too many life experiences, have always found the Youi presenter “creepy” and “a bit sketchy” – to use their words.

And the Youi tag line is “we get you“. Well they certainly got me – they got me well and truly p***d off.

Of course for my troubles I’ll have to pay an “excess”. Is it just me or does that term irritate the hell out of you too? It’s just an artificial gouge to save insurers money. I already pay an excess, it’s called the premium. That’s why I buy insurance, to insure against an accident – why should I pay an excess, when the insurance company took the punt and gave the odds?

Regardless, Youi needs to add a layer of human customer service between their awesome marketing automation and their customers. And they need to stop worshiping at the alter of marketing mediocrity and start communicating like humans, not like marketers who naively believe their own media releases speak the truth.

Though I am looking forward to cancelling my Youi policy – I’m sure on that day I’ll feel really really “awesome”…

awesome

Does Marketo believe all marketers are idiots…

02 Tuesday Feb 2016

Posted by in B2B Marketing, Content Marketing, Copywriting, Digital marketing, Direct Marketing, Email marketing, Marketing, Marketing Automation, Social Media, Telemarketing

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Some of you may have seen this subject line recently. It’s a Newsflash so it must be important:

Capture 5

It’s from Marketo and it’s close to being the most insulting subject line ever written about marketers. Either that or it reveals the Marketo team is comprised of fools.

Hands-up all of you who thought email was dead or gravely ill for that matter? Who among you no longer uses email to communicate with customers, because you thought email was dead?

emaildead

Were you as relieved as I was to discover from Marketo that “email is not dead“? I suspect very few of you even believed the headline. It’s the equivalent of saying “the atmosphere still exists around planet Earth“. Of course it does and of course email is not dead – what fool would make such a claim?

cxg9kk

Here’s the supporting paragraph:

Marketers are spoilt for choice when it comes to digital marketing channels. Programmatic, social, mobile apps… the list goes on. Despite all the latest and greatest, tried-and-tested tactics still have their place in any marketing strategy this year: when it comes to true audience engagement, email is still king.

It’s true, marketers are spoiled for choice – and tried and tested tactics still have their place in any marketing strategy. And when it comes to true audience engagement (whatever that even means) nothing beats face-to-face selling, telephone, direct mail and then of course email – the science proved it years ago. So while email may not be king, it’s certainly close in the pecking order beneath the throne.

Curiously Marketo is addicted to email – it’s the primary way they communicate directly with subscribers. They certainly don’t call their subscribers on the phone – despite the obvious profits in doing so.

images

So let’s consider why they published such a headline.

Option 1 – They believe all marketers are idiots and stopped using email for marketing purposes. As you and I know dear reader, marketers have never stopped inundating inboxes with marketing messages and won’t stop any time soon, so it can’t be this option.

Option 2 – The Marketo team members are stupid, as they thought email was dead and they stopped using it for their marketing purposes, when every other brand in the world continued to use it. I don’t think they are stupid and they certainly haven’t stopped using email if my inbox is anything to go by, so it can’t be this option.

Option 3 – Maybe a junior with no experience wrote the headline? As you can tell, I’m grasping for explanations. There is no sensible reason for making such a nebulous claim – unless the Marketo marketing team is just plain lazy and decided to be sensationalist to sell their webinar? I’m leaning toward this option.

The problem with using a sensationalist headline, is it must be believable if it is to work – like the headline in this blog. And given most marketers, including Marketo’s team, don’t believe email is dead, this headline makes no sense whatsoever and insults even the most mediocre marketer.

If you are interested in catching up on the latest in email marketing then you may want to join the webinar. Dave Chaffey is well worth listening too – he’s a very smart marketer. Though I suggest he would have written a different headline. Here’s the link to the event – so my good friends at Marketo get a free plug:)

But the headline does reveal the number one truth of content marketing – any fool can type crap and sadly many fools do…

Leading legendary lamb leg Linkfluencer looks like losing the lot…

29 Wednesday Jul 2015

Posted by in Advertising, BIG DATA, Content Marketing, Digital, Digital marketing, Marketing, Marketing Automation, Thought Leadership

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Like many of you, I am always stunned at the audacity of the digital industry’s loose use of the truth, particularly when it comes to the sweeping generalisations used to manufacture credibility.

The early social media ‘experts’ were excellent at faking the truth on things like the speed of internet uptake versus existing media. It was Gisle Hannemyr who revealed the truth about internet adoption rates in his famous essay “The Internet as Hyperbole“.

diff_01

Internet uptake lagged behind TV and radio…

One area consistently full of untruths, is the statistics used to support the use of online search, in consumer buying behaviour.

A quick history lesson – prior to the internet, the Yellow Pages invited the public to “Let your fingers do the walking“. And when you wanted to buy a big-ticket item, you sought information from friends and colleagues, read reviews in media, walked around different shops and asked ‘experts’ who worked in the stores, or even invited them to your home to explain or demonstrate their wares.

In other words, humans searched for information about goods and services before they bought stuff – a very sophisticated apex primate behaviour.

yellow pages

Today, people still buy using the same habits of searching for information. But as the laziest species on the planet, humans will always travel the path of least resistance for personal gain. So now, in addition to asking others and visiting stores, people also use search engines, websites, reviews and social media to gather information before buying – online or offline.

So there’s nothing new to see here folks. Habits haven’t changed – just the technology available to behave as we’ve always behaved.

nothing to see here

Human habits haven’t changed…

Which is why this week, I was dismayed to see the following headline in a piece of ‘content‘ which was ‘curated‘ in the form a FREE Whitepaper, by a well known brand flogging marketing automation and content marketing. The company claimed:

93% of buying cycles start with an online search, and 88% of clicks come from organic search

To put it bluntly – what utter bollocks.

The truth is entirely the opposite of this claim. It’s more like 96% of all buying decisions never, ever, involve the internet, let alone search engines or organic search terms. And the punters don’t need content to help them make all their buying decisions.

Think about what you buy in a typical week. Let’s start with groceries – there are dozens of buying decisions involved with the weekly grocery purchase. In fact, your weekly grocery shopping involves the largest number (and percentage) of your weekly buying decisions.

Consider your weekly purchases – tinned food, snacks, drinks, pasta, rice, dairy, biscuits, cleaning products, personal grooming, health care, blah, blah. And then there’s your fresh food – fruit, vegetables, eggs, meat, deli-items and more. Dozens of buying decisions, most of which are made in-store, or in some case in-online-store – but almost exclusively without search engine support.

Trolley-Preview

Groceries account for the majority of weekly buying decisions…

People also make other buying decisions for things like petrol, newspapers, gifts, flowers, school things, household items, etc. But rarely on a weekly basis, do we make lots of considered purchases – apart from dining out. The majority of our buying decisions are automatic or made at point of sale.

Certainly when we have a considered purchase, like new clothes, furniture, a holiday, or car, we will undertake research and likely use search engines as part of the process. But to claim (without any supporting facts) 93% of all buying cycles start with search engines, is at least dishonest, and is grossly distorting the facts. Or maybe they’re just lousy researchers?

These falsehoods are driving the content marketing boom. Apparently humans have stopped all previous behaviour and now only use search engines and websites or Apps to gain knowledge about brands – so you’d better stop advertising, and start publishing like there’s no tomorrow.

This is obvious when you visit your local supermarkets. As you know the aisles are chock-full of shoppers frantically searching websites for content before they dare purchase anything.

deals

#helpmechooseyoghurt

Shoppers stand around with phones in hand, uploading images of products like yoghurt tubs, as the first step in their buying cycle. They post messages to their ‘friends’ such as “help me decide – should I buy the low fat apricot or the sugar-free strawberry? Like my Instagram or Facebook page, so I know what to buy” #whichyoghurtjourney #luvyoghurt #helpmechooseyoghurt #lowfat #sugarfree

I’d better go warn the green-grocer and tell him he’s about to go out of business. He hasn’t any whitepapers demonstrating his thought leadership on corn cobs. Not to mention the tomatoes – surely he can run a simple webinar to add value to his customer’s tomato buying-cycle journey? The silly bugger just has handwritten signs outside his store and at point of sale – signs like “organic navel oranges $3.99/kg“. How will they work in a non-sales, content-dominated world?

And I feel sorry for my local butcher – he’s so silly, he tries to sell things instead of just publishing secret sausage content. Yes folks, he sells for a living – how quaintly old fashioned. Hasn’t he heard the social selling mantra “selling is dead“? You no longer have to sell – just publish and all will be well.

butchers-2

He’s not a Leading Legendary Lamb Leg Linkfluencer…

Here’s how stupid he is. Today he has a sign outside his shop; “Legs of lamb only $19.99/kg – save $5/kg”. What is he thinking? Nobody will buy his lamb legs – he’s not supporting them with any video or ebook on the benefits of eating lamb. He has no content to position him as a leading legendary lamb leg Linkfluencer. The poor sod, he’s going to lose the lot.

And the local baker hasn’t even got a website – she relies on the location of her store, the quality of her pies and pastries, as well as word-of-mouth to make a living. What kind of fool is she?

All this talk of food has made me hungry. I might pick up a couple of meat pies for lunch. Shame the baker won’t be there to chat – she’s made so much money she’s holidaying in Europe.

Just imagine if she had the time to do content marketing…

 

Remarketing – helps grannies find breast pumps and other useless products…

24 Tuesday Feb 2015

Posted by in Advertising, BIG DATA, Branding, Content Marketing, Customer Service, Digital, Digital marketing, Marketing, Marketing Automation, Remarketing

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Are you being increasingly cyber-stalked lately? It seems to happen more and more these days – thanks to the users of marketing automation, particularly the current digi-flavour-of-the-month – remarketing.

Here’s how it worked for a friend of mine – aged 62. She was looking online for a baby gift for her niece who was having her first child. She eventually found and bought one.

Then, thanks to the marvels of marketing automation, every time she went online for the next six weeks, she was confronted with all manner of ads for breast pumps, nappies, post-pregnancy fitness programmes and products that were completely irrelevant to her.

future of advertising

And that’s one of the big problems with remarketing – it’s nearly always after the event. Yet it doesn’t have to be. If marketers realised how to use their small data they could really make this data-driven tactic work.

Here’s how a lack of attention to small data has affected my online experience recently. Last week I bought a desk accessory online from a company called Varidesk. Hopefully it will be good for my back. I did some searching, clicked on their page, checked out their credentials and bought.

And now, instead of providing me with customer service, they won’t stop following me around the web – constantly trying to flog me the product I’ve already purchased and now had delivered.

They sent me an email message confirming my order, so they can contact me directly with personal messages. But somebody in sales or customer service hasn’t told the digi-kids. So they are treating me as a prospect and trying to flog me stuff via banner ads, even though I’m a customer.

I would have thought it was easier to record the simple data from a sale, than to invest in chasing the wrong people online? If it’s so easy to recognise someone who has visited your site and then stalk them around the web, how hard is it to recognise the small (but significant) data point of a sale?

Here’s what I see now whenever I go to online news sites:

Varidesk 7

Varidesk 8

Varidesk 6

Varidesk 5

Varidesk 4

Varidesk 3

Varidesk 2

Varidesk 1

All it would take is a simple automated digital communication between the customer transaction records and the remarketing tool. It is not difficult to do. And then, instead of pissing me off with irrelevant remarketing, they could provide me with customer service.

It’s another case of the small data being more powerful than the big data. But because people are ignoring marketing basics in the pursuit of the latest bright shiny digi-object and industry buzzwords, the bleeding obvious is overlooked.

growthhacking

On another note, I’ve heard that latex mattresses are good for your back. But I’m a tad nervous to search for them. Can you imagine the ads that will appear on sites after I search randomly for latex products! The mind digi-boggles…

Introducing “lying” – the new customer service benchmark…

02 Friday May 2014

Posted by in BIG DATA, Branding, Customer Service, Direct Marketing, Marketing, Marketing Automation

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About 4 weeks ago a garbage truck ploughed into my car and did a few thousand dollars damage. He was the driver at fault.

I rang AAMI my insurer and explained the accident. Later I received a text message from Suncorp, saying “AAMI has attempted to contact you regarding claim xyz123. Please call 1300698749, 9-5pm Mon-Fri.”

That’s strange I thought – a message from Suncorp representing AAMI – that’s a tad brand-confusing. They only have my mobile and I have no missed calls. So I called them back and was advised where to send the car for assessment.

The service was excellent and my policy covered me with a cheap hire car similar to my car. It also covered the cost of the taxi to take me from the assessor to the hire car company. I was told the job would take about 9 days, so I would get my car back the day before Easter . If it was to take longer I would be informed and could extend the rental.

My “similar” rental car is a 4 cylinder Toyota Corolla. My damaged car is a 7 seat Toyota SUV. So the planned road trip for the school holidays was cancelled.

the road trip was cancelled

the road trip was cancelled

The day before my repaired car was due to be available, Hertz rang me to confirm if I was returning the rental car. I said I had no idea as I was awaiting confirmation my car was fixed. So I rang the smash repairer for an update. “No mate it won’t be ready tomorrow, we’re waiting on a part that takes 3 weeks. Call us again in 2 weeks.”

In mild panic I rang the insurer to get the OK to extend the rental. This is when the fine print of insurance comes into play and you want to strangle the CEO of the insurance company.

Homer-simpson-chocking-bart-1

They knew nothing about my car’s status, so I gave them the update. And then I’m told my policy only covers the discount rental for 10 days. I now have to pay full tote rental price over the holiday season if I want a car.

I am the victim here. Someone else runs into my car and I have to pay. Isn’t this why I pay for insurance, so I don’t have to pay when an accident happens?

I call Hertz back and he asks if I was given a discount code. I responded “what’s a discount code?”. He tells me I am entitled to a discount on the full rental price via the insurer.

So I ring AAMI back and ask for my discount code. They weren’t able to explain why I wasn’t given it beforehand.

The discount is not large and is wiped out when I select the cheapest daily insurance cover to ensure I don’t pay an excess of umpteen thousand dollars, if I get a scratch on the vehicle.

So now I am paying full tote on a holiday car rental and have no idea when my car will be repaired.

But then a strange thing happened. At 4.43pm I get the same text message I’d received the other day about how AAMI had tried to contact me, yet again I had no missed calls. At dinner with friends that night I discussed this and one of the fathers said he had a similar experience. He’d scrolled through his messages to see when he had missed AAMI’s attempt to contact.

Apparently they don’t attempt to contact you at all. They just lie to you.

liar

They send an sms to you, so you have to pay for the return call and they don’t have to pay for someone to “attempt to contact you”. After all, it costs them more to reach you if you don’t answer on the first attempt. So they text you a lie to force you the customer, to pay for the phone call for their customer service.

What depths have we plumbed that brands need to lie to their customers to save themselves money? Why not just be honest and send a message that says “please call us regarding your claim number xyz123??”

Once again the small data fails, making the BIG DATA irrelevant.

Turns out they didn’t know as much as I knew about the status of my car – and I still haven’t heard from them this week. I assume the best I can hope for is another sms lying about their attempt to reach me and I’ll have to call them.

Lucky I’m with AAMI – not really.

not really...

not really…

Lucky I can shop around and switch insurers – absobloodylutely!

But they’re not the only brand practicing deceit. Telstra wrote me a letter last month claiming in a bold subhead “We recently tried to call you“.

a whole team tried to call me

a whole team tried to call me

The author even claimed his team had tried – yes folks, a whole team. It must have been very important for a team to call me. Yet the letter doesn’t say on what day, at what time, how often, or on what number they tried to call me. And given I can track missed calls, they now have me concerned.

That’s because like many thousands of Aussies I am an owner of Telstra – my hard-earned is invested in T2 shares (a disaster I know – should have invested in T1). Yes folks, like most investors I’m relying on marketers to succeed so I get a return on my investment – frightening really. And I suspect they don’t even consider this as part of their KPIs.

What concerns me more is this – if Telstra did telephone me as they claim to and I have no record of missing a call, is the technology broken? Have I invested in a dud? Should all shareholders be concerned? Maybe Telstra don’t know their phones don’t work and that’s why they couldn’t reach me!

Or is this just another fake marketing message passing off as customer service?

Who knows? I don’t have a record of a missed call. Telstra don’t provide any facts about the call – and it’s the facts that matter, not the puffery. The grammatically incorrect letter went on to tell me “we’re only a phone call away” and “If there’s anything we can do to help, just call us on 1800 886 720.”

Given my concern there was technical problem, I rang the phone number. It was answered by a recorded message welcoming me to the business improvement programme – which turns out to be on-hold music. Not much of an improvement – another lie maybe? So after a few minutes I gave up listening and waiting for the team to answer – a whole team and nobody was available.

I can hear your pain dear reader, so please scream now…

scream

Why do marketers treat the people who pay their salary so appallingly? Why is there so little accountability? Are they really incompetent? Most have university degrees.

I’m sure this is driven by KPIs set by people who’ve never served a customer face-to-face, but have written lots of strategic documents. Some poor marketing sod has a KPI for customer engagement or some such rot. So the easiest solution is to send bulk lies to customers via sms, mail and email – the most powerful media channels – and claim success on the engagement KPI.

I’m off to ring my smash repairer – at least he answers the phone personally and tells it like it is – which is what I’m worried about…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Twitter, why would you bother? #retweet…

25 Monday Nov 2013

Posted by in BIG DATA, Content Marketing, Customer Service, Digital, Marketing, Marketing Automation, Social Media

≈ 4 Comments

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Twitter is one of those digital things that creates a great divide within business people and the general population. On a ratio of roughly 99 to 1, the comments I hear about Twitter are against using it – “why bother” or “why should I waste my time?” or “I just don’t get it“.

I rarely hear or read why it is worthwhile following Twits or being followed. Certainly the eBooks and Twitter experts rarely discuss the cost to tweet or the financial benefit. They just focus on tweeting for tweeting’s sake.

In fact, nobody I know in business has given a good argument for its use, yet I know many people who use it to some degree. This blog is automatically linked to Twitter, but I gave up using my Twitter account months ago due to the overwhelming amount of spam.

I get hundreds of fake posts daily from people/names I’ve never followed. I changed my password a number of times, but over 90% of the feeds in my account are spam. So I just don’t look at it, as my time is worth more doing things other than sorting through tweets.

Here’s a screen shot from today for example – I have no idea who this Twit is:

Twitter screen shot

Once again the DIY weakness of the internet. People have to sort out every digital glitch themselves, from email problems, to pages not loading, to spam in everything. Most suppliers of digital technology avoid providing customer service in the form of humans on the phone to help users. They force users to solve it themselves online via FAQ,s alleged help sections on sites, and in some cases live chat. And this DIY help takes so much time it’s often easier to stop being a user.

13 countries account for 74% of users

This infographic – I had to drop in a marketing buzzword – shows the breakdown of Twitter usage.

Twitter infographic

5 countries account for 50% of users and 13 countries account for 74% of users. The graphic is interesting given that China and India, the number 1 and number 3 users of the internet, aren’t represented. Tweeter isn’t allowed in China and India just doesn’t seem interested. Given there are about 200 countries on the planet, then less than 2.5% of countries account for 50% of usage, while 7% account for the majority of Twitter usage.

Countries in the developed world are by far the biggest users of the internet – 77% according to this list. So the only anomaly in this infographic is Saudi Arabia. It is the 34th biggest internet user, all the others are in the top 25 users.

Twitter is dominated by US “celebrities”

tweet by Bill Maher

If you review the Top 100 global Twitter accounts by number of followers, it reveals even more about the users, or more importantly the messages. I may have allocated the odd account to the wrong celebrity segment, but here’s how they stack up:

  • US celebrities: musical, television, movie and vacuous – 58%
  • Non-US celebrities similar to US ones – 15%
  • Websites such as YouTube, 2 Twitter sites, MTV – 10%
  • Football clubs, footballers, basketball players and NBA – 8%
  • News sites – 4%
  • Barack Obama, Bill Gates and Dalai Lama – 3%

There isn’t a single consumer brand in the Top 100!

The biggest users in my country, Australia, are quite insignificant in the number of followers relative to the global Top 100. We only have 2 accounts over 1 million followers and one is of a failed Prime Minister whose account will significantly decline now he’s no longer in office. I think the other is an actor. I have no idea who she is and she probably doesn’t know me either:)

Australia has a larger percentage of sports people in its Top 100, which reflects our society’s high involvement in sport. Every live sports coverage now invites 140 characters of input from viewers. There are even plans to have Tweet screens spread around stadiums so fans can share their Tweets with each other as the game is played. Most live TV shows (eg the News) and many print journalists offer hashtags for readers and viewers to “join the conversation”. Am not sure how many viewers will be “conversing” with a journalist as said journo is reporting a cat stuck up a tree, but that’s just me.

The really interesting thing in the global and local rankings is the almost complete lack of consumer brands in the Top 100. The Aussie list has airlines and a telco. They use Twitter as a customer service tool, due to the problems with delays, flight cancellations and technical issues. This is a very good way to use Twitter if you have a very large customer base and you need to reach them quickly.

But generally speaking, the leading Twitter accounts are not brands or corporations, rather they are individuals or media properties. So why should a company bother with Twitter you ask, particularly given its churn rate?

Twitter churn rate is one of the highest of any service in history

Depending upon the research you read, the churn rate of Twitter users varies from 30% to 80+% within the first 30 days of usage. In 2010, RJMetrics claimed “Twitter’s rate of churn isn’t 60% as Nielsen found, it’s 80%+, with only 17% of Twitter accounts sending a single tweet over the past month“.

Where is the value for companies – apart from using it as a customer service tool to monitor complaints? It costs money to have Twits posting and monitoring tweets, money that could often be better spent elsewhere.

And here’s a fact. If your company never used Twitter, nothing would happen. Your business would not go broke, your share price would not decline and you wouldn’t lose profit. Customers wouldn’t be complaining “Brand X doesn’t tweet, so I’m not going to buy it“.

So relax. Twitter is a nice-to-have not a have-to-have media channel. It’s head-hour intensive and depending on what/how you are tracking, can also involve significant software costs. So it’s not cheap. But it’s here to stay – as it does work for certain niche categories.

As a business owner or marketer you have to decide “is Twitter essential to make and keep customers, or can I make and keep customers without Twitter?”

The answer is simple really. Run a test. Measure the cost of Twitter versus the benefits. This small data, about a BIG DATA product, will paint the picture and make it very easy for you to make the decision.

Hmmm – I wonder if this will be retweeted?

twitter retweet logo