Tag Archives: copywriting

The awesome, ultimate, essential, killer definitive guide that is guaranteed to blow your mind…

13 Thursday Jul 2017

Posted by in Branding, Content Marketing, Copywriting, Digital marketing, Marketing, Thought Leadership

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There is one truth in copywriting that resonates loudly in the digital world. It is simply; “the more adjectives the writer uses, the less their words are trusted by their readers“.

This is most evident with content marketers and their shoddy infomarketing. They are responsible for the growing chronic disease known as infobesity.

The only benefit of this disease, is its ability to help with insomnia. In case you struggle to get to sleep dear reader, I recommend you do as I do. Download some “ultimate definitive guides to digital wonderfulness”. You’ll be snoring within minutes, even seconds, of starting to read one.

Here’s one of the latest pieces of killer content I downloaded. But be prepared for amazing revelations. The title is “The six pieces of content your business needs as growth fuel“. A bit of a clunky headline, but wait, there’s more…

Click on this image to learn the first of the six things you need. I guarantee this knowledge will blow your mind:

Are you stunned folks? Who’d have thought that the first things you need for your business as growth fuel, as against growth fuel for your business, are these:

  • Home page
  • Product/service page
  • Contact us page
  • About us page

This insight is truly remarkable. Thank goodness the thought leader published it. I ask you, “how could any online business succeed without a home page?” and “who would have thought to have one?”

I was breathless when I read it. It’s no wonder so many businesses fail. They’ve forgotten to put a home page on their website. It must be true, because it has been published as a piece of content marketing.

And here are some of the other “things” you also need for growth fuel:

  • killer sales deck
  • well-built sales playbook
  • irresistable lead magnet
  • prospect nurturing email

You probably also need a “dejargoniser” to interpret WTF the author is talking about, not to mention an “adjective reductionator” to trim the content flab.

Have to go now – am off to blow my client’s minds about home pages. They won’t believe what they’ve been doing wrong…

 

Awesomely connect to me: https://www.linkedin.com/in/malcolmauld/

If your marketing messages don’t appeal to idiots, you’ll fail…

05 Wednesday Jul 2017

Posted by in Advertising, Content Marketing, Copywriting, Digital marketing, Marketing, Sales, Social Media

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One of the best ways to check your copy before approving it, is to read it out aloud in a room on your own. The mistakes and clangers will almost always identify themselves as you read. Then you can fix them.

Better still, give your copy to an idiot or illiterate to read. According to the Adult Literacy Study, there are more illiterate people than smart people in the OECD.

The consequence of ignoring idiots is costly indeed. Because if you don’t communicate clearly, the idiots won’t understand your message and you miss out on most of your audience – and therefore most of your sales.

This brings me to the message that was put in my letterbox this week. Click on the image below to read it.

Apparently a family wants to buy a home in my street. They have roughly outlined what they are looking for and ask in the final sentence; “…please could you get in touch with us?”

But they forgot one thing. They didn’t include their phone number, an email address or even their name. We have no way of contacting them, even if we want to give away our home.

Idiots!

But this proves my point about checking your copy with an idiot. It now costs north of a couple of million dollars to buy in our street. So these people have money, even though they’re not smart. And an idiot’s money is worth the same as a smart person’s when it comes to buying stuff.

I have to get to a meeting now. Where are my car keys? Uh oh, I left them in the car – idiot…

The Daily Mail’s ironic typo about retail store Typo…

29 Tuesday Nov 2016

Posted by in Content Marketing, Copywriting, Digital, Digital marketing, Marketing, Marketing Automation

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If you ever needed more evidence of the disease being spread by the content marketers, just read a typical content marketer’s content or “curated” online publication.

The mistake these cyber-hustlers perpetuate is summed up by this phrase “I type, therefore I am….a copywriter”. The “experts” peddling content marketing claim “everybody writes”. Well sorry to state the obvious, but it’s simply not true.

Everybody types, but not everybody writes.

Here’s a headline running today, in the curated online “news” site The Daily Mail.

Parents ‘disgusted’ after finding swear words on books candles and beach towels in popular stationary shop on display in front of children

typo-2

typo

I’m no grammar dude, but any primary school child knows the word stationary means “standing still, not moving”. Just like the brain of the article’s author.

Anything referring to writing materials, books, pens etc is known as “stationery“. The easy way to remember it is “e for envelope”.

Here’s a clanger by BigW – sent to me by a colleague who wants anonymity. And the company wonders why it’s standing still in terms of growth?

bigw

And here’s another typo I noticed in the Qantas magazine last week.

epson

The subhead says “Epson have it in the bag“.

The last time I looked Epson was singular, while have is plural – in layman’s terms.

The subhead should read: “Epson has it in the bag”.

Mistakes like this are everywhere. An application I read for a marketing role requiring writing skills, included the following: “Unfortunately, motor accidents do happen, with thousands hospitalised in Queensland due to road traffic crashes each year.”

The subject of this sentence is “motor accidents”. How do thousands of motor accidents end up in hospital each year?

Maybe Confucius should be taught in schools? Here’s what he had to say about communication:

“If language is not correct, then what is said is not what is meant; if what is said is not what is meant, then what must be done remains undone; if this remains undone, morals and art will deteriorate; if justice goes astray, the people will stand about in helpless confusion. Hence there must be no arbitrariness in what is said. This matters above everything.”

This gives me an idea. Given the B.S. being peddled by the content marketers, maybe content marketing should be rebranded. Just call it “helpless confusion” as that’s how it makes most intelligent marketers feel…

Why most shared content has no impact on your brand…

14 Tuesday Jun 2016

Posted by in Branding, Content Marketing, Digital marketing, Direct Marketing, Email marketing, Marketing, Marketing Automation, Media, Remarketing, Thought Leadership, Viral marketing

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Any marketer, advertising agent, researcher or social scientist worth their salt, knows for any marketing content to resonate with, let alone influence, the typical punter, it must be consumed numerous times in a short space of time. Seeing something just once, rarely makes a serious impression (though it is rated as such in media terms – an impression that is).

Unless the message is designed as a direct response message, giving prospects all the information they need to ‘act now’, most marketing messages hardly penetrate our grey matter if only seen once.

Just look at the way we learn at school – through repetition. A message has to be repeatedly consumed for it to eventually make it through our distracted craniums and finally embed itself into our conscience. This is called learning. It’s a rare human indeed, who can read or view something only once and then remember the content.

raked-classroom1937

Information retention comes through repetition not from glancing at content

So what does this mean in the world of digital chewing gum for the brain? This is the world where the people mostly share content in social channels, which requires less than a metaphorical chew to consume. The receivers of said content quickly scan it, dismiss it, then start to chew on the next piece of content, ad infinitum.

digital chewing gum

The majority of content shared by consumers is mostly images, video, memes, jokes, fundraising appeals and personal stories. People rarely share words or phrases, particularly lots of words like those populating ebooks, whitepapers, brochures and the like. Of course people communicate back and forth using words, but it’s not sharing in the content marketing sense.

The act of sharing has less to do with the content being shared and more to do with narcissism. “Look at me, I’m sharing this before anyone else” or “look at me I’m sharing something – how many likes did it get?” or “look at me, I liked something”.

The average adult attention span is now roughly 8 seconds (just less than a goldfish) and ASS Times keep getting shorter and shorter – less than 1 second for many image-based channels like Instagram. So the ability for any snack-size marketing content to resonate at all in the memory of consumers, is nigh impossible. Did you like that piece of digi-jargon – “snack-size”?

attention span

And what about all that thought leadership content floating in cyberspace? At best, much of it remains in the ‘download folder’ of computers, because we’re too busy to print it or consume it in any depth. It’s why good quality email messages to opt-in subscriber lists, along with blogs, are still the best performing content online.

Ironically the content marketing failure is being driven by the content itself and FOMO. I’ve talked about the infobesity problem before. The average punter is waterboarded with content from friends, strangers, government, institutions and brands every second of the day. Add to this deluge, the modern dilemma of FOMO forcing consumers to have minimal engagement with content, and you can see why brands gain almost zero benefit.

Consumers know there’s loads more content coming down the digital pipe and they don’t want to miss it. So they quickly and disengagingly ‘like’ something, or ignore it, before moving to the next set of pixels.

content hipster

Hipster training to consume marketing content…

Just as we chew gum without thinking and then spit it out, it’s the same with content. We consume it without thinking and with almost zero emotional engagement. We swipe, pause, swipe – in a constant process to churn through the non-stop current of content. And the pause is usually shorter than the time it takes to spell ‘pause’. And even if consumers do take a few seconds to read or view your content once, will it really make a lasting impression?

Hmmm that reminds me, I’d better check my emails. Oh look there’s a dog…

dog

P.S. Please feel free to share this content with as many as you like:)

Content infobesity is clogging digital arteries…

03 Thursday Mar 2016

Posted by in BIG DATA, Branding, Content Marketing, Copywriting, Customer Service, Digital, Digital marketing, Email marketing, Marketing, Marketing Automation, Social Media

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Yesterday I received this email at least eleven times, from the American Express Content Hub – branded as American Express Open Forum. You’ll need to click on the image to see the detail.

Amex email

In case you didn’t know “Content Hub” is one of the latest buzzwords you need to use in marketing meetings. For example, “I’m just going to my content hub to download some thought leadership.” It will probably impress others in the room who don’t know what a content hub is, though most likely only for about six months, until they realise you’re talking rubbish. But hey, you’ll be using a new buzzword by then, so they won’t remember.

This inbox-clogging email avalanche, was most likely caused by a marketing automation stuff-up, as they seem to be standard operating procedure these days, so it’s difficult to blame Amex.

True-Story-Sales-Marketing-Failure

But let’s stick with the Content Hub for a minute. I recently conducted a digital marketing training event for Amex in Sydney – focusing on debunking the myths of content marketing, social media and other digital delights.

One of the things we examined briefly was the American Express Open Forum, because it was rated one of the Top 10 Content Hubs in the world. Yes folks, you heard it here first. Does your content hub rank on the global stage?

There are a few problems with the hub:

  • It’s referred to as a Content Hub.
  • It invites you to customise what you see on the hub, by nominating subjects you’re interested in. I did this, but nothing has ever been customised and I see the same screen as people who visit the hub for the first time – this was proven via testing. I believe this is called a UX problem in modern marketing vernacular?
  • The hub is content for content’s sake – much of the content is of dubious value to businesses.
  • To ingratiate itself to its clients, Amex gets them to provide business insights. These “insights” are then published and promoted on the site – again more content for content’s sake.

Here are a couple of examples of amazing insights on the Open Forum:

“It’s not about the dollar amount you put into your marketing effort – it’s about the thoughtfulness and effort.”

“I suggest in-office events for employees to mingle and have fun. Giving a few extra days off around the holidays – or allowing remote work during the holidays – may also be greatly appreciated.”

“Seasoned business owners may also use professionals to help determine the extent of estimated payments needed to avoid penalties. Consider doing whatever it takes to avoid the estimated taxes death spiral.

I suspect, like me dear reader, you are completely underwhelmed by these amazing insights – featured prominently on the home page of the Open Forum. Another example of content for content’s sake.

seo_cartoon_panel-15

When I asked the Aussie Amex digital team what they thought of the Open Forum, they ran for cover saying “it’s an American site, not ours“. They gave the impression they were very embarrassed by it.

But as you savvy readers will know, if it’s online it’s there for all to see, not just for the Yanks. And the punters don’t differentiate – it’s an Amex site, so if you’re an Amex card user, it’s for you.

There are many dictionaries these days, but here’s the definition for “insight” from the Oxford Dictionary – “the capacity to gain an accurate and deep understanding of someone or something.” I’ll leave it to you to decide if the insights from the Amex Content Hub qualify.

Head_up_your_ass

Amazing insights from the Content Hub

The content on the Content Hub, seems to typify the infobesity filling our inboxes and clogging the digital arteries of our customers. I have yet to find any customers who awaken daily, wanting more content from a brand, jammed down their throats – even when they are buying. Yet marketers are investing in content for content’s sake because, well just because…

Apparently there’s a growing trend of people creating content about trends in content marketing. I’m off to create a Content Hub that aggregates Content Hubs.

I think I’ll call it…..INCONTINENTO.COM…..

Does Marketo believe all marketers are idiots…

02 Tuesday Feb 2016

Posted by in B2B Marketing, Content Marketing, Copywriting, Digital marketing, Direct Marketing, Email marketing, Marketing, Marketing Automation, Social Media, Telemarketing

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Some of you may have seen this subject line recently. It’s a Newsflash so it must be important:

Capture 5

It’s from Marketo and it’s close to being the most insulting subject line ever written about marketers. Either that or it reveals the Marketo team is comprised of fools.

Hands-up all of you who thought email was dead or gravely ill for that matter? Who among you no longer uses email to communicate with customers, because you thought email was dead?

emaildead

Were you as relieved as I was to discover from Marketo that “email is not dead“? I suspect very few of you even believed the headline. It’s the equivalent of saying “the atmosphere still exists around planet Earth“. Of course it does and of course email is not dead – what fool would make such a claim?

cxg9kk

Here’s the supporting paragraph:

Marketers are spoilt for choice when it comes to digital marketing channels. Programmatic, social, mobile apps… the list goes on. Despite all the latest and greatest, tried-and-tested tactics still have their place in any marketing strategy this year: when it comes to true audience engagement, email is still king.

It’s true, marketers are spoiled for choice – and tried and tested tactics still have their place in any marketing strategy. And when it comes to true audience engagement (whatever that even means) nothing beats face-to-face selling, telephone, direct mail and then of course email – the science proved it years ago. So while email may not be king, it’s certainly close in the pecking order beneath the throne.

Curiously Marketo is addicted to email – it’s the primary way they communicate directly with subscribers. They certainly don’t call their subscribers on the phone – despite the obvious profits in doing so.

images

So let’s consider why they published such a headline.

Option 1 – They believe all marketers are idiots and stopped using email for marketing purposes. As you and I know dear reader, marketers have never stopped inundating inboxes with marketing messages and won’t stop any time soon, so it can’t be this option.

Option 2 – The Marketo team members are stupid, as they thought email was dead and they stopped using it for their marketing purposes, when every other brand in the world continued to use it. I don’t think they are stupid and they certainly haven’t stopped using email if my inbox is anything to go by, so it can’t be this option.

Option 3 – Maybe a junior with no experience wrote the headline? As you can tell, I’m grasping for explanations. There is no sensible reason for making such a nebulous claim – unless the Marketo marketing team is just plain lazy and decided to be sensationalist to sell their webinar? I’m leaning toward this option.

The problem with using a sensationalist headline, is it must be believable if it is to work – like the headline in this blog. And given most marketers, including Marketo’s team, don’t believe email is dead, this headline makes no sense whatsoever and insults even the most mediocre marketer.

If you are interested in catching up on the latest in email marketing then you may want to join the webinar. Dave Chaffey is well worth listening too – he’s a very smart marketer. Though I suggest he would have written a different headline. Here’s the link to the event – so my good friends at Marketo get a free plug:)

But the headline does reveal the number one truth of content marketing – any fool can type crap and sadly many fools do…

Are all marketers going starkers…

20 Friday Nov 2015

Posted by in Advertising, Branding, Copywriting, Marketing, Media

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As you know dear reader the marketing industry follows fashion more than any other industry. Not wearable fashion, but the latest buzzword, shiny digital object, alleged tech trend, font or photography style.

Recently I’ve noticed the current trend appears to be a fascination with nudity, or the word naked to be exact. It seems naked is trending as a label for all sorts of products.

starkers

In Brisbane recently I passed this sign advertising a burger – well it’s not a normal burger it’s a naked burger. I assume the customer wears clothes when munching?

Burger

The headline under the title says “strip off the bun on any burger” with a subhead “served with relevant toppings in a lettuce cup”. Sadly I don’t have a picture of what a burger without a bun with topping in a lettuce cup looks like. I’m thinking a prime rump version of sang choy bow maybe? How does it soak up the beetroot juice?

The next day I walked around the corner from my hotel and staring me in the face was this giant outdoor poster.

outdoor poster

You can get yourself a fully loaded naked bundle from this strange bearded fellow. The mind boggles – WTF is a fully loaded naked bundle of phone lines and other telco services? Do we have nothing to say, so we use words like naked to attract attention?

Then a few days later while driving in peak hour in Sydney with my kids, I followed this taxi-back ad.

naked bar

I have no idea what it’s selling? Despite working in the industry most of my life, I’ve found the best judge of advertisements to be my kids. If they don’t understand the communication quickly, then how will busy adults? They couldn’t tell either.

This poster (and I’ve now seen other versions of her in different poses of undress) has an image of a semi-naked women with a headline “No Naughty Bits“. Next to her is a circular stamp “Aussie Bodies“. So we still have no idea what’s being sold – swimming costumes by Aussie Bodies?

There’s the word “NAKED” in bright red on what appears to be a chocolate or snack bar of some sort. You can imagine the high sugar count, given how humans make assumptions based on experience.

None the wiser, my kids and I crawled through the traffic before being affronted by a double-barrel dose of nakedness.

twin naked

That’s right dear reader – our vision was filled with a fully loaded “nakedathon“. The word naked was on headlines on both the bus and the taxi, there was a semi-naked bikini girl in front of us – just the sort of stuff to stare at while waiting at lights. My daughter asked “why are these advertisements all about being naked dad?”

“I have no idea” was the best I could muster. Though research has revealed the taxi-back is flogging a protein bar – obviously.

Now this ad uses the word “naked” to good effect – the reader understands immediately why the word is in the headline as it’s relevant to the proposition.

pink

But to invent a brand name from an over-used word all sorts of other products (like telcos and burgers) can use as an adjective in their ads, is not necessarily smart. A quick search for “naked protein bars” reveals the following:

21313_naked-protein-crunch.gif

nude bar

bear naked

The protein bar industry is fascinated with nakedness. So calling your protein bar “Naked” and then promoting it obscurely is not very original. It probably means you have to invest way more money than your competitors to stand out from the crowd.

Then again if the adage “sex sells” is true, maybe you could just use a half-naked bikini girl on a taxi smiling suggestively about naughty bits…

Should all alleged Content Marketers be sacked on sight?

13 Friday Nov 2015

Posted by in Advertising, BIG DATA, Content Marketing, Copywriting, Digital, Digital marketing, Direct Marketing, Email marketing, Marketing, Marketing Automation, Media, Sales, SEM & SEO, Social Media, Thought Leadership

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Your headline is one of the most important parts of your content. It attracts the reader to continue to read/watch/listen.

Of course I don’t believe all content marketers should really be sacked – it’s merely a figure of speech – but hopefully, given the current trend in animosity towards content marketing, the headline will attract readers:)

Like many, I’m concerned about marketers being duped by the latest new-new thing in marketing – another label for something that’s decades old. This time it’s content marketing and if you follow Gartner’s Hype Cycles, it seems content marketing is on its way out as we read – making room for the next bright shiny digital object. Mind you Gartner predicted there’d be no mail by 2000.

Gartner Hype Cycle

Content Marketing heading into the abyss…in the trough of disillusionment

Creating content is not new to marketing. In fact, creating content has been in our culture since mankind stood upright. Think cave paintings to record content and communicate to others.

Check out this image from a 17th century book:

1742

The headline reads “Contents“. OMG dear reader – physical evidence of content creation in publications.

As you well know, the majority of books (including ebooks), magazines documents et al, begin by listing the content you will find in the publication. Who’d have thought hey?

So why do alleged marketers claim the creation of content is new? Whose interest are they really serving?

I can only go from my humble experience, as like most marketers I’ve been creating and curating (to us a digi-term) content since nappies. More than 30 years ago when a Marketing Manager of TNT I wrote a weekly editorial article in the Daily Mirror – an afternoon newspaper in NSW. The column was called Property Protection and gave tips on home security to readers. Accompanying the column was an ad from TNT Alarm Systems – one of the brands I managed.

So the reader saw the content in two parts – the paid content in the ad and the editorial content. The editorial wasn’t earned content – I wrote it free of charge as an “industry expert”.

Let’s move forward to 2015 and rewrite what I just wrote, but using “digital content marketing language“.

I published content in the Daily Mirror, alongside the paid media. Interestingly it wasn’t earned media because I published it free of charge. It wasn’t owned media, as Rupert owned the paper. And it wasn’t paid media because that was the ad below it.

It was thought leadership delivered as native advertising, as part of my content marketing strategy. WOW, WOW & WOW!!!

Not only was it all that – but the UX (user experience for the digitally challenged) was omni-channel wonderfulness, as the reader was able to turn the page using their finger and read both the paid ad and the native advertising in an integrated format, without having to leave the platform. Unf***gbelievable. The content was consistently presented on the user interface – that’s the page, in case you’re wondering.

You get the picture.

Yet despite all the evidence, a whole content marketing industry is booming.

There’s even a private company called The Content Marketing Institute. It’s nothing of the sort – an institute that is – but don’t you wish you’d invented that money-making-machine? Call yourself an institute and you gain faux credibility and get the gullible to part with money. Hats off to the founders for getting away with it – brilliantly I might add.

Interestingly, my mate Drayton Bird recently wrote that the founder of said “institute” believes content marketing is a fad and will only last another couple years. But hey, they’ve made their money.

So here’s today’s first lesson – if you think creating content for marketing purposes is new, you need to go back to marketing college or leave the industry – you obviously know little about marketing.

Lesson number two – if you think consumers have miraculously changed their DNA and don’t consume paid ads, you are deluded and need to go back to marketing college or leave the industry – see above.

Lesson three – if you think the future is about brands telling stories without any proposition to entice you to buy (short or long term) see lesson one.

Here are some insights from an earlier post:

Amazing Insight 1: Customers don’t really care about brands

Amazing Insight 2: Customers don’t want relationships with brands

Amazing Insight 3: Customers don’t want to engage with brands

Amazing Insight 4: Customers don’t want to join a conversation with a brand

Amazing Insight 5: Customers get pissed off if you irritate them with irrelevant content marketing about your brand

But maybe I’m preaching to an empty church?

empty church

I should jump on the content marketing bandwagon and open a content creation and curation company.

But I cannot call it a content marketing agency, as there is no such thing – it’s a commercial impossibility.

It’s against the law of natural commerce to call yourself a content marketing agency. An agency is named because it earns commission from publishers for placing paid media as their agent. This is why they are called advertising agencies.

Given the entire purpose of the content marketers is to create content that isn’t for paid media – only for earned and owned media – then by its very nature, a content marketing agency cannot exist.

There are no paid media commissions involved. So there aren’t any agents – which means there are no agencies. Simple really.

So any alleged content marketing expert calling their business a “content marketing agency” should therefore be sacked on sight for fraudulent misrepresentation – oops…

 

P.S. I’m running a content marketing seminar in Brisbane in two weeks. If you’re interested you’ll need to register today by clicking here.

Those two marketers walk into a bar and laugh at content marketing tools…

31 Friday Jul 2015

Posted by in Content Marketing, Copywriting, Digital, Digital marketing

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Those two marketers find the secret content curation tool used by “experts” who peddle content marketing as the foundation for business success. Watch the content appear before your eyes…

Click here to view

avagoodweegend…

Telstra launches new Wi-Fi service, subject to availability of course…

02 Thursday Jul 2015

Posted by in Advertising, BIG DATA, Branding, Content Marketing, Copywriting, Customer Service, Digital marketing, Direct Marketing, Email marketing, Marketing, Marketing Automation, small data

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There must be something in the air with regards poor customer service, if the last week is anything to go by. Woolies and Telstra struggled to understand customers, while Energy Australia’s confusing communications caused chaos.

Then yesterday I received the same email twice within 16 minutes from Telstra. I have no idea why such a BIG DATA company continues to have so many problems with their small data? Particularly given they have people working there with titles like “Data Scientist“. If they could just get their small data right, the BIG DATA will look after itself.

email image

The subject line really didn’t interest me – it was all about Telstra and not about me. It said “Big News for Wi-Fi“. I assume good old Wi-Fi enjoyed its news. I deleted the messages. But a mate contacted me about them. He’d received one and was confused by the contents, so I retrieved them to see what the “content” had to reveal.

I don’t quite understand the service as the email wasn’t very clear – I suspect it means wi-fi services are now available for Telstra customers outside their home networks – at last.

I clicked on the link and I entered my postcode to see where the Telstra Wi-Fi Hotspots were located near my home. Here’s the result:

wi-fi hot spots

Our service is subject to availability, good luck finding it

Two things struck me. Firstly there are three levels of wi-fi coverage indicated by a colour code. Unfortunately the three hot spots in my postcode have no colour coding, so I have no idea if I get low, medium, high or no coverage.

The second is more disturbing. The service is apparently “subject to availability“. I have no idea what this means. Does it mean subject to the availability of a hot spot location existing? Or is it subject to the availability of the wi-fi network?

It’s like ANZ Bank saying we offer bank branches, but they’re subject to availability. They may or may not be there when you turn up to do your banking. Isn’t it illegal to offer to sell something you don’t stock?

So in one message I’m told of big news about a new service – but there is no information about the level of service offered in my suburb. And regardless, the service is subject to availability, so may not even exist!!

As a Telstra shareholder I am again stunned at the use of my investment funds. As a customer I’m just confused at another big brand failing at customer service and small data.

Maybe I should call them to clarify what’s going on – assuming of course, the phone network isn’t subject to availability?

termsandconditions

On the other hand I might take a Bex and lie down…