FREE Book reveals the COVID Snake-Oil marketing cures are nothing new…

30 Thursday Apr 2020

Posted by Malcolm Auld in Advertising, BIG DATA, Copywriting, Digital marketing, Marketing, Sales

Tags

advertising, BIG data, COVID-19, digital marketing, marketing, Sales, small data

I have a Kiwi mate dear reader, Henry Newrick, who decided to put the current lock-down to some good use. Mind you, New Zealand (like Australia) is a good place to be if you’re trying to avoid COVID-19.

Henry is a long time publisher and entrepreneur. He’s worked for more than 50 years in New Zealand, Asia, Europe and the USA, so he’s seen his share of crises.

He has put together a small publication (72 pages) consisting of advertisements, cartoons, comic strips and headlines – all about the Spanish Flu Epidemic of 1918/1919.

For example here’s the ad that probably prompted the Trumpster to recommend disinfectant as a cure for COVID-19:

Maybe we could inject a disinfectant – The Trumpster

Most people think that the Spanish Flu originated in Spain. This was not so and the first recorded case was on March 11, 1918 a long way from Spain. This was exactly 8 months to the day before the end of World War 1 on November 11. Henry provides the details in his book.

Of course in 1918 there were not the communications that we have today, nor the medical facilities to treat the very ill. As a result the final death toll was somewhere between 50-100 million – a figure much greater than all the dead and wounded in the War. The exact numbers killed by the Spanish Flu will never be known.

Today’s snowflakes would not have coped in this quarantine…

The current whinging by seemingly sane adults about the struggles with lock-down makes you wonder about their capacity for work. I’ve seen posts for motivational podcasts, tips for “surviving’ the lock-down, guides for success and a stream of COVID-CRAP – how would today’s snowflake executives have survived the Spanish Flu?

And just as the COVID-CYBER-HUSTLERS have flooded our inboxes with digital snake-oil, so to the Spanish Flu was a great time for the snake-oil salesmen to come out in force with all sorts of treatments to either ward off getting the flu or to cure it if already afflicted. Here are just a few of the products whose advertisements can be found in Henry’s book.

Eat more Onions (one of the best preventatives for influenza)
Veno’s Cough Mixture (prevents Spanish Flu deaths!)
Jeye’s Fluid (the ideal disinfectant – guards against influenza)
Wampole’s Paraformic Lozenges (guard against Spanish Influenza)
Eat More Candy, Have less Flu
Milton Kills the Influenza Germs
Escape the Flu with a New Edison
Gin Pills to beat the flu
Dr Pierce’s Pleasant Pellets (cleans your mouth, skin and bowels)
Foley’s Honey and Tar (spreads warmth)
Drink Bovril (liquid life that prevents influenza and colds)
Take Cascara Quinine (at the first sign of influenza)

You’ll also recognise that BIG DATA is nothing new – it’s just new to marketers who didn’t use data prior to the internet. Mind you, most cannot get their small data right, let alone the BIG stuff.

BIG DATA showing curve flattening in 1918-19

To get your FREE copy of “Classic Ads, Cartoons, Comics & Headlines – The Spanish Flu” just click on this link.

You don’t fill in any forms, no data is kept by me. But you will notice Henry’s also published the 6 volume set of Classic Ads (www.ClassicAds.org) which runs to more than 3,300 pages. You can buy that from Henry if you like.

And once again I’m reminded of George Santayana, the Spanish Philosopher who is famously quoted as saying:

“Those who do not learn history are doomed to repeat it”

And Henry Newrick proves him right again.

Study your marketing history folks and you’ll be way more successful…

Here’s how personalised magazines always over-engage readers for an outstanding CX…

13 Thursday Sep 2018

Posted by Malcolm Auld in Advertising, B2B Marketing, BIG DATA, Branding, Digital marketing, Direct Marketing, Marketing, Media, QR Codes, small data, social selling

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

BIG data, branding, customer engagement, data-driven marketing, digital marketing, media, small data

Please accept my apology for the jargon overload in the headline. Back in pre-history, around 2004, I helped a number of competing print companies launch their Variable Data Digital Printers via a series of seminars, trade shows and other marketing activity.

This disruptive technology delivered what many now call data-driven marketing. It was simply the use of relevant data to digitally print personalised publications and link readers to personalised landing pages. An undigi-believable omni-channel breakthrough. But let’s just pretend data-driven marketing is only five year’s old like most digital marketers believe it to be, so as not to confuse them.

One of the most successful promotions and product demonstrations we did, was to personalise the cover of a number of Marketing magazines for individual subscribers. We also personalised the accompanying advertisement to the subscriber inside the respective issues, as well as the landing page.

At the time, the Editor of Marketing magazine said the covers were the most talked about in the history of the publication. They had never had such a positive response. He said subscribers were ringing and writing to congratulate them. It was massive engagement to use today’s jargon.

Leap forward to 2018 and a few months ago I was asked by Kellie Northwood, the Publisher of VoPP magazine, to be the Guest Editor. I readily accepted and suggested the magazine be customised for those on the database. Kellie agreed.

Well VoPP has just hit the streets, and this customised version demonstrates the power of print when it comes to engaging susbcribers via personalisation.

Here’s the outer envelope:

Here’s the personalised magazine cover:

There is a customised message on the cover for each of the key subscriber groups, as well as a custom background colour. If you scan the QR Code it takes you to a PURL where you can complete a survey. There is a segmented group title printed below the code – mine is Agency/Retailer on this edition. And to add some polish there’s a spot fluoro ink printed on the QR code too. The story of how it was produced is in the magazine.

Here are examples from 2004/5:

Fuji Xerox – personalised message on the screen:

Personalised ad on back cover:

Personalised ad inside the front cover:

PURL – Personalised URL:

Direct Smile font printed via HP Indigo:

Personalised advertisement on back cover:

.Another issue:

Penfold Buscombe printed these versions with personal message written on the street sign and the image of the relevant capital city in the rear view mirror:

Customised versions by State printed using postcode data:

VoPP stands for Value of Paper and Print. If you’d like to get a FREE copy of VoPP Mag, visit the website to subscribe: http://valueofpaperandprint.com.au/subscribe/

I’m off to read this issue, there’s an interesting guest editor…

Youi’s awesome marketing automation is still failing awesomely – even for ex-customers…

02 Thursday Jun 2016

Posted by Malcolm Auld in BIG DATA, Branding, Content Marketing, Customer Service, Digital, Digital marketing, Direct Marketing, Email marketing, Marketing, Marketing Automation, small data, social selling

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

BIG data, branding, content marketing, customer service, digital marketing, direct marketing, marketing automation, small data, Youi

Regular readers of my musings may recall the appallingly mediocre service I received at the hands of Youi. I eventually rang them to ensure they had cancelled my policy, because they were still charging my credit card.

The lady who served me was wonderful and agreed I had received shocking service. She fully understood why I was leaving and was going to raise the issues with her supervisor. The supervisor was probably an awesome supervisor, most likely wearing lycra and a cape. After all, Youi constantly tell us how awesome they think they are.

An awesome Youi supervisor?

At the end of the call, the customer service lady said I would receive an automated survey. I mentioned I was aware of the survey (see previous post). I explained it was designed by fools and didn’t allow me to rate individuals like her really well, as it wanted an overall rating for Youi.

She agreed the survey was badly designed and wished me luck. And you guessed it folks – the survey never arrived.

I haven’t been a Youi customer for a couple of months now. So I ask you dear reader, what do you think arrived in my inbox yesterday? Yes, that’s right, another Youi email asking me to “share my winter warmers” – as if I was still a customer. There’s even a hashtag #winterwarmers to create digi-credibility.

Here’s the first screen:

Malcolm, do you have a winter warmer to share?

What is going on at Youi? Why is the marketing automation so appallingly bad? They have my complaint on record, in numerous blogs, social media posts, emails, phone calls and text messages. I’ve cancelled my policy. I am an ex-customer. As John Cleese stated in the famous Monty Python dead parrot sketch; “this is an ex-parrot, he’s ceased to be”.

And I’ve ceased to be a Youi customer – yet their marketing automation technology is still sending me customer communications – I bet their digital marketers call it content marketing? Why do they accept such marketing mediocrity?

Here’s the second screen:

Even if I was a Youi customer, how am I supposed to remember the name of the person who served me, so I can mention them in my winter warmer? Certainly their CRM system wouldn’t be able to identify anyone linked to my account – that would require a simple computer system that works. And it’s pretty obvious Youi’s doesn’t – work that is.

How is it possible that I cancel my policy, have a customer service person state they are raising the reason for my cancellation with their awesome supervisor, and Youi still gets it sooo wrong?

Youi’s ridiculous tag line is “we get you”. Well they (and their marketing automation) obviously get you riled, frustrated, upset and p***d-off at the time-wasting they cause and the lack of service. Not to mention the lack of faith they create in modern data-driven automated marketing.

Worse still, even if I was a customer, they want me to go to their Facebook page and help grow Zuckerberg’s bank account, as well as influence my social feed to Youi-oriented posts for the next month. What planet is the Youi marketing team living on?

So dear reader, should I give them a red hot winter warmer and share my awesome customer experience journey? (I had to get some marketing jargon into the post) If you have a minute, please let me know your thoughts thanks.

Here’s a winter warmer for you…

And if I am no longer a customer, does it mean Youi is in breach of the Privacy or Spam Act, by using my email address without my awesome permission?

Hmmm, maybe I should send an awesome complaint to the Privacy Commission – then Youi would really get me…

#youi
#winterwarmers
#awesome

How would you treat a loyal customer of 26 years?

27 Friday May 2016

Posted by Malcolm Auld in B2B Marketing, BIG DATA, Branding, Customer Service, Digital marketing, Direct Marketing, Marketing, Marketing Automation, small data

≈ 8 Comments

Tags

BIG data, branding, customer service, digital marketing, marketing, Qantas, small data

When I was a National Marketing Manager at TNT, I had to fly Ansett domestically because TNT owned the airline. Consequently I only flew Qantas internationally. But in 1990, I joined the Qantas Frequent Flyer programme. Last year was the 25th anniversary of my custom and last month, my 26th came and went quietly.

I’ve flown with them every year since 1990 and spent six figures in airfares. Like many of you, I have been up and down the Qantas ladder of membership. At my peak, I was what’s known as a CIP and my membership status was something like Super Godzilla Platinum. For the uninitiated, a CIP is a Commercially Important Passenger. The CIP acronym is more valuable than VIP – it means you pay serious dollars for your seat, whereas VIPs may not pay at all for the privilege.

The reason I was a CIP, was because an over-indulgent ad agency paid me to travel the world’s busiest route – Sydney/Melbourne – on a weekly basis, sitting at the pointy end of the plane. Eventually I left that role and my travel action declined. I gradually dropped from Super Godzilla Platinum to Shiny Gold and eventually arrived at the humble Dull Silver level – though apparently it’s a Lifetime Membership. Woo Hoo.

During the time I slid down the Qantas eligibility pole for a free beer at the bar and a couple of party pies at the bain marie, I also became a Velocity member at Virgin.

Lifetime Silver means no more free party pies or beer on tap…

So I ask you dear marketer, why have I not heard one word from Qantas? If you had a customer who had done business continuously with you for 26 years, wouldn’t you like to know why they’d reduced the amount of business they did with you? Wouldn’t you pick up the phone and ask?

Wouldn’t you like to know if you still get 100% of their flying wallet – to use some marketing jargon? Has your service been the problem? Does your customer now fly with your competitor?

Have you left us for another?

I’m not sure how many customers you have who’ve spent continuously with you for 26 years, but I’m sure you don’t have too many. But if you did have such a customer, aren’t these the typical questions you would ask if they stopped doing business with you?

So why don’t Qantas marketers care about the people who pay their salaries? Is it because they make so much money flogging the personal data of members to FF partners, who in turn flog stuff back to said members? Is the airline business so lucrative and simple, they can afford to lose long term customers?

Is suspect the reason is simple – they rely on marketing automation. The computer tracks flight purchases and allocates ‘status’ based on transactions. And we all know how risky it is to hand over your customer service to computers. More often than not, marketing automation equates to marketing disaster.

There is no layer of human intelligence being applied to the BIG DATA at Qantas. Worse still they’re ignoring the small data that matters. Unless of course it’s a budgetary issue – but you’d have to be concerned if the margins in your business restrict you from calling your customers to talk with them?

I’m obviously not the most profitable customer for Qantas, but I have been a customer for more than two and a half decades. You’d think even the lamest marketer would acknowledge the fact? After all, the management could afford to pay a $90 million bonus to the staff last year? But hey, why feign interest in customers?

If you want further evidence, here’s what happened to a friend of mine. Her partner (also a friend of mine) died suddenly from DVT, following an international flight. While sorting out his estate, my grieving friend rang Qantas late on a Friday afternoon to ask what will happen to her partner’s FF points. (you need to plan this in your Will too, dear reader)

She was told to get back to them within 48 hours with the name of a relative to whom they could transfer the points. So after a discussion over the weekend, she rang Qantas on Monday, only to be told she had missed her 48 hour window! The points were to be forfeited.

Suffice to say, she gave them a piece of her mind and eventually coerced the customer service staff into allowing the points to be transferred, somewhat begrudgingly.

Gotta luv the Spirit of Oz.

So I guess I really shouldn’t be surprised about their attitude towards one customer of 26 years…

How NIB uses BIG DATA to rip-off small kids…

17 Wednesday Feb 2016

Posted by Malcolm Auld in Advertising, BIG DATA, Branding, Customer Service, Marketing, small data

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

advertising, BIG data, branding, customer service, marketing, NIB, small data

Continuing on this week’s posts about the rotten attitude of insurance brands towards the people who pay their salary – their customers – here’s how NIB lets any telephone sales clerk access your children’s personal medical records.

I’m an NIB customer – well my whole family is covered under some family policy. Each year they increase the cost and reduce the service. They advise this using weasel words and deceit, as I’ve shared before.

Recently my 13 year old daughter went on a holiday with friends to the UK/Europe. Yes I know what you’re thinking dear reader, I went camping two hours up the coast at her age. The highlight being catching prawns with my father in the full moon run at midnight, at The Entrance – but I digress.

Midnight prawning at The Entrance

We obviously needed to get travel insurance. NIB offer discounts to customers, so my bride rang them.

The sales clerk started asking a few questions and when my bride got to the part about ski cover, the clerk opened my daughter’s medical records and poured through them – all without permission of course – unless it was covered in some double-speak in the recorded message at the start of the phone call?

How can a sales clerk have the right to inspect children’s personal medical records? What a BIG DATA abuse.

She noted my daughter had injured her leg a couple of years ago. And she was right. My daughter broke her ankle. But she was treated professionally in hospitals, by surgeons, nurses, specialists, physios and the like. In fact NIB paid the physiotherapy bills we received for treatment of the injury.

The sales clerk claimed this old fully-healed injury qualified as a pre-existing condition, so the policy would cost an additional $90.

My bride explained the injury had healed. My daughter has since gone skiing, plays hockey, basketball and runs cross country. But none of that mattered, because this clerk has now labelled it a pre-existing condition.

If you believe that ridiculous notion, then there isn’t an NIB customer who hasn’t a pre-existing condition. In fact, nobody on the planet could be insured as we all have pre-existing conditions.

I broke a toe when I was 7 years old. Does that mean I cannot get travel insurance? Imagine if I was to trip over while in a foreign country – it could be linked to my pre-existing condition? I could get an injury in the snow on a trip to Queenstown – it could be related to me getting hit by a snow ball in 1978, an obvious pre-existing condition.

One has to ask NIB – do you trust the medicos to heal patient’s injuries? After all, they study for years at university to become doctors. And you pay the gap in the medical bills to your customers, so you must have some confidence in their ability to heal wounds and injuries?

Or NIB, do you believe the medicos can’t do what they’re trained to do and fix injuries? Do you believe they are incompetent and just pay their bills because, well, that’s the system?

Either way, allowing sales clerks to access a child’s personal medical history, so you can screw them out of a few bucks on a travel insurance policy, is a low grubby act at best. You need to respect people’s (particularly children’s) privacy and stop fabricating lies to make money out of non-existing conditions.

How do you people sleep at night? Maybe you could bottle it and give it to people who struggle with pre-existing insomnia?

Some of you may know NIB loves its marketing jargon (and reality TV too) – it even has its very own hashtag #itsgoodtobehuman. As against #itsgoodtobealien? Or #itsgoodtobemammal?

If they really want people to believe their marketing speak, they should change it to #itsbadtobeaNIBcustomer. I’m sure the whole population – those people with pre-existing conditions – would believe them.

The only good thing to come from this was getting a cheaper policy from another insurer. They didn’t consider falling over as a kid to be a pre-existing condition to living a healthy life.

Telstra launches new Wi-Fi service, subject to availability of course…

02 Thursday Jul 2015

Posted by Malcolm Auld in Advertising, BIG DATA, Branding, Content Marketing, Copywriting, Customer Service, Digital marketing, Direct Marketing, Email marketing, Marketing, Marketing Automation, small data

≈ 5 Comments

Tags

advertising, BIG data, branding, copywriting, customer service, digital marketing, email marketing, small data, Telstra

There must be something in the air with regards poor customer service, if the last week is anything to go by. Woolies and Telstra struggled to understand customers, while Energy Australia’s confusing communications caused chaos.

Then yesterday I received the same email twice within 16 minutes from Telstra. I have no idea why such a BIG DATA company continues to have so many problems with their small data? Particularly given they have people working there with titles like “Data Scientist“. If they could just get their small data right, the BIG DATA will look after itself.

The subject line really didn’t interest me – it was all about Telstra and not about me. It said “Big News for Wi-Fi“. I assume good old Wi-Fi enjoyed its news. I deleted the messages. But a mate contacted me about them. He’d received one and was confused by the contents, so I retrieved them to see what the “content” had to reveal.

I don’t quite understand the service as the email wasn’t very clear – I suspect it means wi-fi services are now available for Telstra customers outside their home networks – at last.

I clicked on the link and I entered my postcode to see where the Telstra Wi-Fi Hotspots were located near my home. Here’s the result:

Our service is subject to availability, good luck finding it

Two things struck me. Firstly there are three levels of wi-fi coverage indicated by a colour code. Unfortunately the three hot spots in my postcode have no colour coding, so I have no idea if I get low, medium, high or no coverage.

The second is more disturbing. The service is apparently “subject to availability“. I have no idea what this means. Does it mean subject to the availability of a hot spot location existing? Or is it subject to the availability of the wi-fi network?

It’s like ANZ Bank saying we offer bank branches, but they’re subject to availability. They may or may not be there when you turn up to do your banking. Isn’t it illegal to offer to sell something you don’t stock?

So in one message I’m told of big news about a new service – but there is no information about the level of service offered in my suburb. And regardless, the service is subject to availability, so may not even exist!!

As a Telstra shareholder I am again stunned at the use of my investment funds. As a customer I’m just confused at another big brand failing at customer service and small data.

Maybe I should call them to clarify what’s going on – assuming of course, the phone network isn’t subject to availability?

On the other hand I might take a Bex and lie down…

Energy Australia’s circumlocutious corporate conniptions create confusing customer communications…

29 Monday Jun 2015

Posted by Malcolm Auld in Branding, Content Marketing, Copywriting, Customer Service, Direct Marketing, small data, Social Media

≈ 6 Comments

Tags

BIG data, branding, content marketing, copywriting, customer service, Energy Australia, small data, social media

Further to my recent theme about customer service, here’s another large brand struggling with its small data when communicating with its customers.

Energy is a hot topic in Australia at the moment – whether it’s the arguments over wind turbine health issues, leasing the poles and wires to private industry, or the rising costs due to climate change issues, it’s hard to avoid.

Amid the media noise, I received a letter from a General Manager, Sales and Marketing at Energy Australia. I wonder if she even knew about it, because I’m sure someone with such a senior role would have never written it?

I suspect it was curated by someone from the content marketing area of the business – or maybe it was one of those lawyer/copywriters who run marketing communications in most large companies?

The purpose of the letter was to advise I would be paying new rates for domestic electricity from 1st July. Upon inspecting the rates in the letter, I discovered there are 5 separate charges for electricity:

Daily Supply Charge
Peak Usage
Off Peak usage (if applicable)
Shoulder usage (if applicable)
Dedicated Circuit

In simple terms charges 1, 3 and 4 are increasing while charges 2 and 5 are decreasing. I have no idea how this effects my overall electricity cost – is it going up or down? Certainly the letter didn’t clarify anything.

Firstly the letter addressed me as “Dear Malcolm Ian“. Why would you address someone by their first and middle names? Looks like their small data has stuffed up. Though one suspects they would have approved data proofs beforehand?

Here’s the first sentence: “We’re writing to let you know your electricity prices will change from 1 July 2015.” I’m sorry, but who is the collective “we” who is writing? The letter is signed by Michelle Monaghan, not by a team. Shouldn’t it have said: “I’m writing to let you know…”

The first paragraph also stated “Your discount percentage and benefits haven’t changed“. Again I have no idea what this means, why not explain them?

The first subhead says: “What does this change mean for me?” Quite frankly, I don’t care two kilowatts what it means for Michelle who wrote the letter. I assume she meant to say “What does this change mean for you?”

Sadly the 34 word sentence/paragraph beneath the subhead, didn’t mention a thing about what it means. It states most other retailers will be reviewing their prices – what has that to do with me? Then it says the review is driven by price changes from local distribution companies, wholesale energy and government green schemes, as well as changing retail prices.

What sort of price changes from which local distribution companies? What wholesale and government green schemes? Are these wholesalers and government greenies in cahoots? Are they causing the increase or the decrease in the prices? And isn’t Energy Australia the retailer? So what are their changing retail costs?

This reeks of obfuscation, deceit and plain “stuff you customer“. Surely a big utility like Energy Australia has a spine? Why can’t they explain the truth rather than hide behind weasel words?

But they do have a sense of humour. The final subhead said “We’re here to help.” I cracked up when I read that. The next sentence said “we know price changes can be difficult, so we’re here to help as much as we can.”

Here’s a tip for you content curators at Energy Oz – start by writing the truth in plain English in your letters, then it wouldn’t be so difficult for the customer. You’d be amazed at how your customers really appreciate the truth instead of circumlocutious corporate conniptions.

But what I find even more fascinating is why utilities, telcos and banks all try to force you to get your bills by email instead of the regular mail. Yet when it comes to officially covering their corporate butts, they always mail you a letter – never an email. Go figure?

I’m off to write a letter to Energy Oz, just in case their BIG DATA tracking software misses this mention of their customer service. And to find out if my changing energy charges are going to cost me more or less, because despite their letter, I still haven’t a clue…

Good manners will always trump marketing content…

24 Wednesday Jun 2015

Posted by Malcolm Auld in BIG DATA, Content Marketing, Customer Service, Digital, Digital marketing, Direct Marketing, small data

≈ 6 Comments

Tags

BIG data, content marketing, customer service, digital marketing, marketing, small data, WWF

A couple years ago, the owner of a small industrial supplies company attended a marketing planning course I ran. As part of their situation analysis, they interviewed clients to learn what their clients thought of them.

A number of clients raved about this company’s customer service. Most companies would be happy about this result, but not this one. You see, their problem was they didn’t provide any – customer service that is. They were confused by what their customers were telling them.

Upon further investigation, they discovered the reason. They work in regional Queensland and the fax is still a popular technology. Yes folks, the fax has a long tail. Apparently they receive many of their orders by fax.

In case you have forgotten the fax, when you send one, you don’t really know if it gets through to the intended person. Given this fact, the receptionist at this particular company, took it upon herself to call anyone who placed an order by fax and thank them for their order. She did this because she thought it was the polite thing to do – that is, to confirm the fax was received.

Consequently the customers, who have never experienced a ‘thank you’ for sending an order before, were highly appreciative and very positive about the company’s ‘amazing customer service‘.

I suggested to the owner that he get the receptionist to always call anyone who places an order, thank them and establish an expectation date for delivery – making sure it was later than the company’s ability to deliver. Then ensure they deliver the goods before the expected date.

This establishes an even better impression in the customer’s mind about the company’s customer service – they always deliver their orders early. And it also ensures the company never needs to discount their products, so it builds brand value and profits.

On another note, I’ve worked with WWF on and off for decades – even dressed as the panda bear to raise funds in my save-the-world youth. They were having problems with retention of donors who’d been acquired after being accosted in the street. These donors were on a monthly direct charge to their credit card. Unfortunately after 6 to 7 months, they started churning rapidly.

Our solution was simple. Six months after their first donation, we sent a personalised ‘thank you‘ postcard to remind them of how their donations were helping save turtle populations. The ‘thank you‘ was printed using a bubble font in the trail of the turtle’s wake. Very creative and very effective. It stopped the churn and improved the revenue and lifetime value of the donor.

People find it difficult to throw away something with a graphical representation of their name – and many of these postcards spent their lives on refrigerators or the walls of office cubicles. These tactile messages are also a far more powerful ‘thank you‘ than an email.

In the modern vernacular you could classify good manners as small data delivered as part of marketing automation. Manners certainly make a big impact on your brand and your bottom line.

I’ve always said “your dollars are in your data” but more often than not, you’ll find there’s more to be made from your small data and some simple manners, than any other tactic – no matter how much content you create.

Thank you for reading:)

Why don’t big brands like Woolies & Telstra understand customers?

22 Monday Jun 2015

Posted by Malcolm Auld in Advertising, BIG DATA, Branding, Content Marketing, Customer Service, Digital, Digital marketing, Marketing, small data, Uncategorized

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

BIG data, Coles, content marketing, digital marketing, marketing, Woolies

Further to my last post about Woolies problems, there’s a growing belief in the marketing industry that BIG DATA is distracting marketers from the main game. Just like social media and content marketing have been driven by trend blindness, so too the BIG DATA fashion. Most marketers haven’t a clue about their small data to even contemplate making BIG DATA work for them.

Woolies was so enamored with their BIG DATA, they bought the data analytics company managing it. I have to admit, as an old Seinfeld fan, I cannot get the BIG SALAD out of my mind whenever I hear people use the term BIG DATA.

raking over the BIG DATA in the BIG SALAD…

Given their lack of financial and marketing success, Woolies is obviously yet to reap their BIG DATA benefits. I recently heard an interesting insight from one of their data executives. Apparently they are analysing people’s credit card purchases.

They discovered if you are a male who buys weight loss products for six months, you’re very likely to then purchase “adult services” once you’re looking fit and trim. This brilliant insight will obviously help the adult sex industry. Let’s see, maybe they could advertise their services on low-fat yoghurt labels, or possibly put a neck tag on bunches of kale?

Gotta luv BIG DATA – it’s sooo relevant to the average business.

But let’s not blame the current BIG DATA fashion for the “why don’t they get it?” marketing moments. While speaking at a tourism marketing conference in New Zealand a few years ago, I met Jeanette Kelly. She had spent years working in the hospitality industry. Jeanette presented a wonderful piece of research conducted by the University of Waikato.

What it revealed is a problem all too familiar in the marketing industry – a complete lack of understanding of customers by people responsible for marketing to them.

The accommodation and marketing managers of various hotels, motels, guest houses and the like, were asked what they thought were the most important factors influencing accommodation choices. Here’s what they considered the most important:

Staffing and accommodation service
Room rate
Location
Facilities
Marketing and Sales programmes
Seasonal tourism
Competition from other properties
Supply and demand
Events taking place in the area
The general state of the national economy
The state of the property

The customers were then asked the same question. Guess what the customers listed as the most important factors influencing their accommodation choices?

Cleanliness of the room
Quality of the bath towels and wash cloths
Quality of staff service
Friendliness of staff service
Comfort of mattress and pillow
Quietness of room
Well maintained furnishings
On-premise car parking
Overall facilities
Level of security

As you can see – the marketers hadn’t a clue. In case you’re wondering, ‘room prices’ came 17^th on the list of priorities for customers – amazing how small data can help your business.

Telstra is another brand that is out of touch because they ignore their small data. Here’s an earlier example.

More recently though, they have reached new heights – or is that lows? I have an iPhone on a plan, as I was unable to get my Samsung Galaxy to work – here’s why. Twice in the last month I’ve received an email with the subject line: “Malcolm, we have an offer exclusive for you“. I assume they meant to write: “Malcolm, we have an offer exclusively for you” OR “Malcolm, we have an exclusive offer for you“. This grammatical problem typically occurs when you use content marketers instead of copywriters to write your messages.

The offer is for a Samsung Galaxy. Personally I’d like one – as Apple is now the new IBM – do it our way or else. Here’s the email – an ad not a personal message:

Selfies make you feel more in the know – WTF?

I thought I already had a great plan?

Any sane human involved in the mobile phone industry knows the terrible psychological damage caused by trying to switch phone brands, if you use Outlook email on your desktop and want to sync your data. Even worse if you use it via Google Apps. Grown men, champion triathletes, even UFC title holders wither to blubbering wrecks, trying to get a simple transition of their data from Apple to Samsung or vice versa. It can invoke violence on innocent handsets.

I lost all my contacts because I couldn’t sync my phone…

And Telstra know this problem – particularly relating to me – because it’s recorded in their small data on my account file. It must be after the Great Samsung/iPhone Disaster mentioned earlier. So I assume given my ‘exclusive’ offer, they have looked at my account.

It is not unusual to see a total chasm between marketers and their customers. The recent Woolies debacle is typical.

Quite often what customers want and what marketers think they want, are two different things. It’s why you see so much irrelevant content in content marketing. And it’s everywhere. Here’s a recent example of a headline from a Data-Driven Marketing association:

Content might still be king but distribution is queen and she is in charge!

Yes it’s true folks. That ridiculous headline was published online – note the complete lack of reference to customers in the statement. But please don’t despair. The marketing pendulum will swing back to common sense soon, you just need to be patient.

Very, very, very patient…

Those two marketers walk into a bar and laugh at BIG DATA…

05 Friday Jun 2015

Posted by Malcolm Auld in BIG DATA, Branding, Digital, Digital marketing, Marketing

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ADMA, BIG data, data scientist, database, digital marketing, online marketing

Apparently all the published commentary about BIG DATA quadruples every six months. Which is weird because most companies can’t control their small data let alone the big stuff.

And as a wise person once said – “there are two types of people in the world“: