Ad agencies and marketers continue to live in a parallel universe…

09 Friday Jun 2017

Posted by Malcolm Auld in Advertising, B2B Marketing, Branding, Marketing, Social Media, Thought Leadership

Tags

advertising, B2B Marketing, branding, marketing, social media

Research released this week by ThinkTV claimed “people working for advertising agencies are out of touch, childless, share-housing, farmers’ market-loving, workaholic gym junkies, who overestimate the impact of social media and the internet on normal Australians.”

Me thinks it’s a pretty accurate persona, to use the modern vernacular.

Of course, the consequence of the frame of reference from which agency types view the world, is how it influences their creative and media decisions in quite biased and dangerous ways.

I was on the end of this type of thinking when talking with a marketer in charge of selling “enterprise solutions” for a telco. In layman’s terms this means she flogs large phone systems to big companies through consultative selling. The reason she was asking my advice was the fact her sales were tanking and she couldn’t get leads from her digital marketing in LinkedIn and banner ads on other sites. True dear reader.

I was showing her some interactive 3D mail examples from US telcos that worked really well to generate qualified leads, particularly when supported with telephone follow-up. She stared at me bug-eyed and said “mail and telephone for B2B marketing are just not on my radar, everything’s digital these days and the agency would never go for it“.

I was taken aback, because as she spoke, I saw something flapping outside her window.

Everything’s just digital these days

The real problem with this advertising agency parallel universe is that it’s not new. The industry has lived in it for decades and not learned from its mistakes. I remember a survey in the 1980’s that demonstrated how out of touch the people who worked in advertising agencies really were.

One revelation was that agency people assumed everyone leased cars and bought their groceries on their fuel card in Shell Shops and 7/Eleven stores. Why go to Woolies?

I also had a marketing assistant at that time, who eventually became a partner in an ad agency (must have been the training). She lived in Sydney’s eastern suburbs and abjectly refused to travel west of George Street in the city. “the only time I go west is to get to the polo and then someone drives me“, she proudly exclaimed.

So here is the latest parallel universe of Adland – it goes part of the way to explaining the massive amounts of money being wasted in digital marketing channels.

The key is as follows – view the charts and weep:

Adland = Yellow
Adland’s estimate of public use = Dark blue
The public’s real use = Light blue

This article in yesterday’s press let the facts speak for themselves. For example, when asked to estimate how many people watch Netflix weekly, Adland said 80%. Yet apparently only 28% of “normal” people use Netflix weekly.

Gotta go now and do my weekly mentoring of young agency talent. Where’s my Tardis?

How would you treat a loyal customer of 26 years?

27 Friday May 2016

Posted by Malcolm Auld in B2B Marketing, BIG DATA, Branding, Customer Service, Digital marketing, Direct Marketing, Marketing, Marketing Automation, small data

≈ 8 Comments

Tags

BIG data, branding, customer service, digital marketing, marketing, Qantas, small data

When I was a National Marketing Manager at TNT, I had to fly Ansett domestically because TNT owned the airline. Consequently I only flew Qantas internationally. But in 1990, I joined the Qantas Frequent Flyer programme. Last year was the 25th anniversary of my custom and last month, my 26th came and went quietly.

I’ve flown with them every year since 1990 and spent six figures in airfares. Like many of you, I have been up and down the Qantas ladder of membership. At my peak, I was what’s known as a CIP and my membership status was something like Super Godzilla Platinum. For the uninitiated, a CIP is a Commercially Important Passenger. The CIP acronym is more valuable than VIP – it means you pay serious dollars for your seat, whereas VIPs may not pay at all for the privilege.

The reason I was a CIP, was because an over-indulgent ad agency paid me to travel the world’s busiest route – Sydney/Melbourne – on a weekly basis, sitting at the pointy end of the plane. Eventually I left that role and my travel action declined. I gradually dropped from Super Godzilla Platinum to Shiny Gold and eventually arrived at the humble Dull Silver level – though apparently it’s a Lifetime Membership. Woo Hoo.

During the time I slid down the Qantas eligibility pole for a free beer at the bar and a couple of party pies at the bain marie, I also became a Velocity member at Virgin.

Lifetime Silver means no more free party pies or beer on tap…

So I ask you dear marketer, why have I not heard one word from Qantas? If you had a customer who had done business continuously with you for 26 years, wouldn’t you like to know why they’d reduced the amount of business they did with you? Wouldn’t you pick up the phone and ask?

Wouldn’t you like to know if you still get 100% of their flying wallet – to use some marketing jargon? Has your service been the problem? Does your customer now fly with your competitor?

Have you left us for another?

I’m not sure how many customers you have who’ve spent continuously with you for 26 years, but I’m sure you don’t have too many. But if you did have such a customer, aren’t these the typical questions you would ask if they stopped doing business with you?

So why don’t Qantas marketers care about the people who pay their salaries? Is it because they make so much money flogging the personal data of members to FF partners, who in turn flog stuff back to said members? Is the airline business so lucrative and simple, they can afford to lose long term customers?

Is suspect the reason is simple – they rely on marketing automation. The computer tracks flight purchases and allocates ‘status’ based on transactions. And we all know how risky it is to hand over your customer service to computers. More often than not, marketing automation equates to marketing disaster.

There is no layer of human intelligence being applied to the BIG DATA at Qantas. Worse still they’re ignoring the small data that matters. Unless of course it’s a budgetary issue – but you’d have to be concerned if the margins in your business restrict you from calling your customers to talk with them?

I’m obviously not the most profitable customer for Qantas, but I have been a customer for more than two and a half decades. You’d think even the lamest marketer would acknowledge the fact? After all, the management could afford to pay a $90 million bonus to the staff last year? But hey, why feign interest in customers?

If you want further evidence, here’s what happened to a friend of mine. Her partner (also a friend of mine) died suddenly from DVT, following an international flight. While sorting out his estate, my grieving friend rang Qantas late on a Friday afternoon to ask what will happen to her partner’s FF points. (you need to plan this in your Will too, dear reader)

She was told to get back to them within 48 hours with the name of a relative to whom they could transfer the points. So after a discussion over the weekend, she rang Qantas on Monday, only to be told she had missed her 48 hour window! The points were to be forfeited.

Suffice to say, she gave them a piece of her mind and eventually coerced the customer service staff into allowing the points to be transferred, somewhat begrudgingly.

Gotta luv the Spirit of Oz.

So I guess I really shouldn’t be surprised about their attitude towards one customer of 26 years…

More than ever before, customers want to be sold too…

28 Monday Mar 2016

Posted by Malcolm Auld in Advertising, B2B Marketing, Branding, Content Marketing, Copywriting, Customer Service, Digital, Digital marketing, Direct Marketing, Email marketing, Marketing, Marketing Automation, Remarketing, Sales, Social Media, social selling, Thought Leadership

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

B2B Marketing, content marketing, customer service, digital, digital marketing, email marketing, marketing, remarketing, Sales, social media, social selling, Thought Leadership

There is some serious B.S. being peddled claiming human DNA has miraculously changed in the last few years. The peddlers (known as content marketers) claim people don’t want to be sold anything anymore. They claim businesses that try to sell things to their customers and prospects will fail.

I’m not kidding, such absurd claims are being made at marketing seminars – if it wasn’t so sad it would be hilarious.

The claim of course, is complete rubbish and without supporting evidence.

content marketers shoveling content

The plain fact is this – people love to be sold to by good salespeople. And when they have a great sales experience they rave about it and call it “excellent customer service”. They tell friends at social functions and on social media. Some marketers even label them advocates.

Great sales technique doesn’t make the customer uncomfortable. It doesn’t sound “salesy” – to use an emerging piece of jargon. A good sales person is highly regarded by customers. And we all have our favourites, whether they be at our local cafe, clothing store, pub, hairdresser, mechanic, IT supplier, butcher, baker or grocer.

But when it comes to lousy salespeople or poor sales messages, people share a universal dislike. Since the beginning of time, people have disliked them – it is not a new sentiment just because of the internet or claims by content marketers.

How many times have you threatened to take your business elsewhere because a salesperson wasn’t available to serve you? We all love salespeople.

So to push a self-interest content marketing barrow and state all a marketer has to do is publish more and more non-sales information and the world will flock to your door, is pure fantasy. The content marketers may be smoking the wacky tobacky, but the punters aren’t having a bar of it.

Are content marketers smoking the wacky tobacky?

The common thread among modern consumers is they are time-poor and suffer from severe infobesity – much of this caused by useless content marketing messages that don’t give people a reason to act, or consider a brand. Content for content’s sake. Yet the last thing people want in their busy lives is more content.

Human beings are the laziest species on the planet – we always seek the path of least resistance. One of the key reasons apps are so popular for example, is their ease of use. So marketers have to make it as easy as possible for people to buy – which is why giving punters incentives, offers, propositions and reasons to “buy now” are key to getting sales.

To quote my old boss, David Ogilvy, “you cannot bore people into buying“. Yet content marketers are adamant you can. Waste more of people’s valuable time and you’re guaranteed to sell them more, they preach to the gullible.

Let’s examine some facts shall we:

The single biggest innovation in online shopping was an in-your-face sales tool. It was invented by Amazon – and customers love it! They call it customer service, because that’s what great selling is all about – serving customers and prospects well. The technique is now used on all major transaction websites.

Here’s an example with which you are all familiar – you visit Amazon and click on a book you are considering buying. The site then tells you “customers who bought this item also bought…”

Look out, Amazon is daring to “sell things”…

Even “Facebook with a necktie” (known as LinkedIn) uses this technique. When you view a person’s profile, you are prompted with a message “People also viewed” and there is a list of people’s mug shots linking to their profiles. This is a sales technique as old as retail selling – suggesting alternatives to get customers to buy at least one option. It’s a sales tool, not a non-sales tool.

Companies have always published non-sales information, it is not a new invention. And they made the information available at every point possible along the “customer journey”. Sorry, I had to drop the journey buzzword at least once. Some of you ancient marketers will remember such non-sales content as brochures, websites, booklets, newsletters, educational videos, signage, on-pack instructions, seminars, user manuals – the list goes on.

This is all designed to assist customers and prospects to make buying decisions, or as after sales service. Why would the punters want more ‘information’?

Yet the content marketers are claiming the whole world has changed just because people can do some online research before buying. This is stretching credibility beyond truth. Just because a marketer can reach a prospective customer in more places than ever before, does not automatically translate into “don’t sell to consumers, just post information as much as possible“.

wanna read content rather than buy a product?

By all means, help build your brand by publishing relevant content that cost-effectively drives people to a sale, or keeps them coming back after they’ve bought. But make it easy for the punters to buy – they are already inundated with infobesity and can’t be bothered doing all the work themselves.

So please, you self-interested content marketers, stop the lying about content marketing and making fake claims all a brand has to do to succeed, is publish non-sales content. It’s dishonest. Brands have always published non-sales content, as well as sales content – and it’s the sales content that has the biggest impact on the business and always will.

I’m going on a customer journey to get a drink of water from the kitchen. Better check some influencers to see what non-sales content they have, so I can make my buying decision – do I get cold water from the fridge, just run water from the tap, or maybe drink sparkling water from a bottle? After all, I want to ensure my water-drinking customer experience journey is the best it can be…

Does Marketo believe all marketers are idiots…

02 Tuesday Feb 2016

Posted by Malcolm Auld in B2B Marketing, Content Marketing, Copywriting, Digital marketing, Direct Marketing, Email marketing, Marketing, Marketing Automation, Social Media, Telemarketing

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

B2B Marketing, content marketing, copywriting, Dave Chaffey, digital marketing, direct marketing, email marketing, marketing automation, Marketo, telemarketing

Some of you may have seen this subject line recently. It’s a Newsflash so it must be important:

It’s from Marketo and it’s close to being the most insulting subject line ever written about marketers. Either that or it reveals the Marketo team is comprised of fools.

Hands-up all of you who thought email was dead or gravely ill for that matter? Who among you no longer uses email to communicate with customers, because you thought email was dead?

Were you as relieved as I was to discover from Marketo that “email is not dead“? I suspect very few of you even believed the headline. It’s the equivalent of saying “the atmosphere still exists around planet Earth“. Of course it does and of course email is not dead – what fool would make such a claim?

Here’s the supporting paragraph:

Marketers are spoilt for choice when it comes to digital marketing channels. Programmatic, social, mobile apps… the list goes on. Despite all the latest and greatest, tried-and-tested tactics still have their place in any marketing strategy this year: when it comes to true audience engagement, email is still king.

It’s true, marketers are spoiled for choice – and tried and tested tactics still have their place in any marketing strategy. And when it comes to true audience engagement (whatever that even means) nothing beats face-to-face selling, telephone, direct mail and then of course email – the science proved it years ago. So while email may not be king, it’s certainly close in the pecking order beneath the throne.

Curiously Marketo is addicted to email – it’s the primary way they communicate directly with subscribers. They certainly don’t call their subscribers on the phone – despite the obvious profits in doing so.

So let’s consider why they published such a headline.

Option 1 – They believe all marketers are idiots and stopped using email for marketing purposes. As you and I know dear reader, marketers have never stopped inundating inboxes with marketing messages and won’t stop any time soon, so it can’t be this option.

Option 2 – The Marketo team members are stupid, as they thought email was dead and they stopped using it for their marketing purposes, when every other brand in the world continued to use it. I don’t think they are stupid and they certainly haven’t stopped using email if my inbox is anything to go by, so it can’t be this option.

Option 3 – Maybe a junior with no experience wrote the headline? As you can tell, I’m grasping for explanations. There is no sensible reason for making such a nebulous claim – unless the Marketo marketing team is just plain lazy and decided to be sensationalist to sell their webinar? I’m leaning toward this option.

The problem with using a sensationalist headline, is it must be believable if it is to work – like the headline in this blog. And given most marketers, including Marketo’s team, don’t believe email is dead, this headline makes no sense whatsoever and insults even the most mediocre marketer.

If you are interested in catching up on the latest in email marketing then you may want to join the webinar. Dave Chaffey is well worth listening too – he’s a very smart marketer. Though I suggest he would have written a different headline. Here’s the link to the event – so my good friends at Marketo get a free plug:)

But the headline does reveal the number one truth of content marketing – any fool can type crap and sadly many fools do…

Is your digital marketing leaving cigarette burn marks on your customers…

02 Sunday Aug 2015

Posted by Malcolm Auld in B2B Marketing, Branding, Content Marketing, Digital, Digital marketing, Direct Marketing, Email marketing, Marketing Automation, Thought Leadership

≈ 7 Comments

Tags

content marketing, digital marketing, linkedin, remarketing, retargeting, social selling, Thought Leadership

Depending upon what you read, almost two thirds of all activity on the internet is computer generated. Bots, crawlers, scrapers, autoresponders and marketing automation dominate the internet. Human connectivity is in the minority.

Given our love affair with social media, this is pretty scary stuff. As marketers lean on computers and data points to trigger activity, more and more marketing messages come from machines than humans.

computers create more content than humans…

One current trend is remarketing or retargeting – depending upon your preference for buzzwords. And the result is not always positive.

Burning customers didn’t start with the internet though. The first instance of the “cigarette burn” problem in marketing came with the proliferation of telemarketing. The problem of unsolicited calls into homes became so bad, governments around the world created ‘do not call‘ registers, so the public could opt-in to opt-out of getting telemarketing calls.

Then came the ‘do not mail‘ registers so people could opt-in to opt-out of getting mail. And thanks to marketers and online scam-merchants abusing the email channel, spam laws were created to protect consumers.

“It’s a sad reflection on the industry that anti-marketing laws were passed, because marketers abused the personal media channels vital for connection with the people who make them money – customers.”

One of the problems with personal channels and personalised messaging on websites, is the way marketers measure success. We only measure one half of the activity – those people who respond. We never measure those people who don’t respond – the majority of people who get the message. So you may unwittingly be leaving lots of little cigarette burns on your customers.

Are you leaving cigarette burns on your prospects and customers?

Your intent is to make a positive statement about your brand. Your measurement says you are successful because it only measures results from your point of view, not the customers. But what are you doing to the majority who have no interest in your content marketing?

Here are some insights to help you when creating your content:

Amazing Insight 1: Customers don’t really care about brands

Amazing Insight 2: Customers don’t want relationships with brands

Amazing Insight 3: Customers don’t want to engage with brands

Amazing Insight 4: Customers don’t want to join a conversation with a brand

Amazing Insight 5: Customers get pissed off if you irritate them with irrelevant content marketing about your brand

Yet given every brand is now a publisher, customers are being burnt more than ever before with an oversupply of content designed to help the brand’s search results, or trying to position the brand’s alleged thought leadership in the false belief consumers will be seduced by the charms of the content.

LinkedIn has become the ash tray of B2B marketing

Sadly LinkedIn appears to be a constant stream of smouldering cigarette butts leaving burns on the collective memory of customers and prospects: regular approaches by fake accounts trying to connect; people asking to connect who then immediately flog their wares to you; lists of secrets to success; personal posts with no relevance to business; saccharine, glib motivational posts which depress rather than inspire; content, content and more content – you cannot avoid wincing each time you log-on.

Sadly, LinkedIn is becoming the ashtray for content marketer’s cigarette burns

The social selling industry is addicted to leaving burn marks on prospects, with its belief you need to smother people in self-serving content, rather than invite them to respond or buy.

I recently had one bloke in the UK send me a direct message on LinkedIn to promote his thought leadership whitepaper. He didn’t even have the courtesy to invite me to connect with him. He assumed I would be more interested in his content marketing, than connecting. This constant mediocrity driven by the new social salesperson is becoming depressing.

Social selling is a confusing paradox

If you believe the hype, you no longer need to do any selling to succeed in B2B marketing. All you have to do is provide content and your prospects will automatically buy as result of your amazing thought leadership.

If the Social Selling B.S. is true and there’s no longer any selling, why isn’t it called Social Content or Social Mediocrity or Social Business Development? Why is it called Social Selling if there’s no selling involved? Hmmm?

Me thinks there’s another digital scam afoot – driven by trend blindness and people who don’t like being accountable, or just aren’t very good at selling.

I think that’s enough content for today – I have to go earn a living…

Google keeps doing it, so why don’t you – only fools ignore facts…

10 Wednesday Jun 2015

Posted by Malcolm Auld in Advertising, B2B Marketing, Branding, Content Marketing, Customer Service, Digital, Digital marketing, Direct Marketing, Email marketing, Marketing, Sales, Thought Leadership

≈ 5 Comments

Tags

digital marketing, direct mail, email marketing, Google, omni-channel

Marketers are a strange breed. We love to defy evidence and facts in the pursuit of fashion. The Institute For Marketing Science calls it “Trend Blindness”.

Take for instance one of the most successful and longest performing media channels in the world, aside from face-to-face selling. It’s been around for 150 years and was the pioneer of virtual shopping.

It’s called direct mail. It is an extremely successful channel, not to mention one very much loved by consumers. Yet when the internet was invented, something happened to the brains of marketers and many stopped using mail.

I own an email SaaS business which grew as a result. But just because a new channel has some cheaper options, it doesn’t mean you stop using a channel that works. What lunacy drives that sort of thinking?

Even the science proves the strength of mail over other less engaging channels. Customers love how it engages them – to use the current vernacular.

The people at Google are not stupid. That’s why Google is one of the world’s biggest fans of direct mail. Here’s something I received last week. Here and here are other Google examples.

Clear plastic envelope…

Letter inviting me to “Geek out with Google”

The RSVP is a unique URL, no doubt linked to my contact details. Simple stuff really.

They even used one of the oldest direct mail tricks – an involvement device. A couple of sheets of temporary tattoos were inserted in the envelope, for use at the event, or otherwise if that’s your fancy.

Involvement device – sheets of tattoos

So again the question has to be asked: “If Google does it why don’t you?”

After all, every brand on the planet used direct mail until only a decade ago – and the smart ones still do – fully integrated with other personal media. Or should that be “fully omni-channelled” with other personal media?

I’m off to check my letterbox…

If everyone’s a ‘thought leader’ who’s doing all the work?

23 Monday Mar 2015

Posted by Malcolm Auld in B2B Marketing, Content Marketing, Copywriting, Digital marketing, Marketing, Thought Leadership

≈ 7 Comments

Tags

content marketing, digital amrketing, Thought Leadership

It used to be simple. Certain people were regarded as experts, because well, they were.

They’d tasted blood. Their years of hands-on experience included documented successes (and failures) – proof of their expertise. Their writings, speeches or interviews helped educate others via real life case studies, anecdotes, examples and advice. Their business achievements and industry wisdom were regarded as testimony to their expertise.

David Ogilvy – advertising expert

In the advertising world, my old boss David Ogilvy was one, along with Claude Hopkins, Leo Burnett and the like.

Most experts gained their wisdom through setbacks and failure – not just success. Hence the adage: always sail with mariners who have been shipwrecked, for they know where the reefs are.

But the digital marketing world has devalued expertise – now you just have to publish something online and you automatically call yourself a thought leader. Others don’t call you a thought leader – you anoint yourself. Expertise or experience are not criteria for being a thought leader.

After all, the term “thought leader” is much softer than “expert” – so it is easier to claim thought leadership without as much proof as one who claims to be an expert.

Curiously there is no definition in any dictionary that I can find for “thought leader”. Wikopinion suggests the following – though it’s inaccurate as it claims thought leaders are recognised in their field, yet so many self-anointed thought leaders aren’t even known, let alone recognised:

“A thought leader is an individual or firm that is recognized as an authority in a specialized field and whose expertise is sought and often rewarded. The term was coined in 1994 by Joel Kurtzman, editor-in-chief of the Booz & Co magazine Strategy & Business, and used to designate interview subjects for that magazine who had business ideas which merited attention.”

The McKinsey Quarterly, founded in 1964 is regarded as one of the earliest thought leadership publications. Shell started using thought leadership in consumer markets in 1973. And many regarded the founders of companies such as Ogilvy & Mather, Lever Brothers or Apple for example, as experts – or thought leaders.

So who do we blame for the rise in the thought leadership industry – because it is an industry? The answer is simple – it’s the content marketers – those recently self-anointed experts (I mean thought leaders) who are creating the infobesity epidemic.

There’s even a term “thought leadership marketing“. It refers to the process of trying to attract customers in the B2B markets, by publishing content that positions you as having expertise in a specific area – regardless of whether you do or not. Then when prospects are searching online, they may see your content and even read/view it and consequently get in touch.

The real issue is that so much of the thought leadership content is “manufactured expertise” published purely for the purpose of lead generation. It’s designed for the seller not for the buyer. Anyone can publish “thought leadership” content – and sadly anyone does.

I call it the the Faux Knowledge Conundrum – content is published specifically for the purpose of lead generation – it’s designed to suit the seller not the buyer. The whole notion of expertise has been turned upside down.

Traditional experts provide their expertise for the benefit of the business segment in which they worked. Their expertise helped the buyer (and the market) – via seminars, books, articles and other education channels – some paid and some free.

Now people/companies use Faux Knowledge delivered under the guise of Content Marketing and positioned as Thought Leadership for the sole purpose of making money for themselves, rather than contributing to the body of expertise in the community in which they work.

So if everyone’s publishing content in the quest to be a thought leader, who’s doing all the work? Do you really believe the mantra that you don’t have to sell anything anymore – just churn out Faux Knowledge and the punters will kick down your door?

Yes the sales cycle has evolved – buyers can learn more about what they want to buy before contacting sellers. Hence the growth in content marketing – to try to be found online as buyers search.

But you only have to look at the quality of the content being published to realise how shallow the pool of expertise really is amongst alleged thought leaders. It’s hardly ankle-deep.

Yet if you can optimise your content to be found by those seeking information about it, you can get away with your thought leader positioning. That is until you have to prove yourself.

And that’s the emerging flip-side to the growth in thought leadership. Supplier churn rates are rising in B2B markets. Ironically companies are firing the alleged thought leaders because of their lack of expertise. Then those companies go back to the market to find real experts to fix the problems created by the thought leaders.

The digital marketing industry is a typical example. I’ve even considered starting a brand called Cyber-Vacuumers – specialising in cleaning up the digital mess left by the thought leaders. According to my experienced colleagues, these days they are being hired to “fix and repair” more often than they are to start new projects. I even had a call for help last Saturday.

One way I always assess digital service suppliers to ensure I won’t need a cyber-vacuumer, is to ask them to share their failures with me. Those who claim they have none are never contracted. They obviously haven’t tried hard enough or are telling digi-porkies.

I better get back to work. I love writing my blog, but I also want to make money. Hmm there’s an idea. Position myself as a thought leader on “how to be a thought leader” by writing thought leadership blogs on how to be a thought leader and promote them via thought leadership marketing – there has to be money in that. Who knows, I might even become an expert!

I better tag this post under “thought leadership”…

B2B B.S. bodes badly but bothers bugger-all bosses…

26 Friday Sep 2014

Posted by Malcolm Auld in B2B Marketing, Branding, Content Marketing, Copywriting, Digital, Email marketing, Marketing

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

advertising, B2B Marketing, branding, content marketing, copywriting, customer engagement, email marketing

I received an email a couple of days ago from someone I don’t believe I know. He has the flash title of Head of Customer Engagement, at a company called nearmap. It started as follows:

Hi Malcolm,

I hope that you’re well.

I tried call earlier this week and your front desk asked me to send this email. As your company attended ADMA and so did we; I wanted to bring the below to your attention with a 20% discount and the first 3 months unlimited data package.

While I appreciate the sentiment about my health, the paragraph is a complete fantasy and almost illiterate.

I guess he uses spell checker – “I tried call”, as against “I tried to call” or “I tried calling”. Regardless, I did not get any call earlier in the week, as I don’t have a land line, only a mobile. And like everyone else with a mobile I can track my calls.

More significantly, as I currently work from a home office, I do not have a front desk – let alone one that can speak. And I’ve never known any sort of furniture that can communicate like humans. Are there some sort of new digital desks with the ability to answer phone calls, manage diaries and send emails? Look out human receptionists.

The next sentence intrigued me as well. He says my company attended ADMA. My company? Does that include the amazing talking furniture, the files, computers, bookkeeper, accountant and other staff? Did we all front-up to the office of ADMA’s CEO and hang out?

If as I assume, he means I attended the ADMA Forum, his small data is corrupt. I didn’t attend this year. But I’m pleased he did and hope it helped his customer engagement.

As for my attendance being the reason he “wanted to bring the below to your attention with a 20% discount and the first 3 months unlimited data package” I have no idea what the statement means. And the rest of the email gave me no clues either.

I won’t bore you dear reader with the rest of the message. Suffice to say the majority of it talked about his company. There was no attempt to determine if I was even a prospect. And there was no other mention of the “20% discount and 3 months unlimited data package”.

Though there was one sentence that peaked my curiosity and had me concerned I wasn’t up with my acronyms and jargon:

“Our PhotoMaps are served straight to your web browser via our website or alternatively via our WMS to use directly within your CAD/GIS as a mapping layer.”

It’s been a while since I’ve been able to drop a reference to GIS or WMS into a conversation, though I’m sure I will find a way?

He finished with: “Looking forward to hearing your thoughts so that we can set up a call to go through a full demo.”

Even that final sentence defies logic. Set up a call to go through a full demo? Is the demo over the phone? Is it a video call? Do we have to set up a call to set up the demo while on the call?

If this is the quality of direct marketing in the digital world, then we may as well give up now. You cannot build a business using lies. At least if you are going to lie, make an attempt to write with some clarity, so your message has some chance of being read.

Maybe our schools are to blame? You only have to mark a few university assignments to realise the literacy problems throughout our education system.

Of course the real question has to be where did he get my email address – I doubt ADMA would be giving away contact details without permission? And given I didn’t attend how could I be on their list of delegates?

Regardless, how does somebody with a job title of Head of Customer Engagement, get away with this appalling communication? It’s no wonder content marketing is getting such a high profile.

Just write stuff, don’t ask for the order and business will take care of itself.

I wonder if the Head of the Company knows how the business is engaging customers? Does anyone even care anymore?

I can’t wait for the omni-channel follow-up…

Smart phones create dumb exhibitors …

30 Wednesday Jul 2014

Posted by Malcolm Auld in B2B Marketing, Branding, Content Marketing, Customer Service, Direct Marketing

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Tags

ADMA Forum, customer service, exhibitions, marketing, smart phones, trade shows

I attended a small marketing industry trade show in Sydney today. The exhibition stands were mostly back walls with flat screens and people sitting on stools or lounge chairs.

I entered the show and started to wander around. There was a circular walk with an aisle down the middle of a single room. Not too complicated to navigate.

I walked passed every stand. At one stand, two male staff were talking to each other blocking the walkway. I excused myself as I walked between them. They let me through without so much as an introduction.

In fact, not one person on any of the stands tried to engage with me, despite my enthusiastic body language. And I did shower and use deodorant today.

It wasn’t because the exhibition was busy. I visited during the conference speeches, so there were more exhibitor staff than visitors.

Here’s what about 90% of the exhibitors were doing as I passed them by:

working hard staring at my screen at a trade show…

This is what is called the “Content Marketing” theory of trade show success.

As you know the content marketing experts have pronounced selling is dead. All you need to do these days is publish content, your customers will then immediately engage with you and profits will fall from the skies as a result. You don’t have to sell anything. Just chillax and check your phone regularly.

This theory has now pervaded trade shows. To succeed, you just put staff on your stand with their smart phones. They spend their whole time staring and playing with their screen, because they don’t have to sell. Prospective customers will engage them if they want to know anything or to buy something.

If only the world was digital when I ran my exhibition stands. I could have just hung around all day, gone to the cocktail functions and my KPIs would be met.

Hmmm, maybe I can create a service providing exhibition stand slaves who charge a fee to stare into phone screens all day? I could use backpackers, they’re cheap and they know how to stare at mobile phones.

I’m off to crowd-fund this brilliant idea and open up a social site for people to Like and get the Twitterverse jabbering.

Instant retirement, here I come!

Hang on, I just have to take a quick look at my phone…

Careful, you’ll go blind…

03 Tuesday Jun 2014

Posted by Malcolm Auld in B2B Marketing, Direct Marketing, Marketing

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B2B Marketing, direct marketing, marketing

Part 3

Continuing with the series about 3-D mailings and building evacuations. Today we’ll discuss the risks associated with the seemingly innocuous mail tube.

For my sins way back when, I worked on the American Express account in NY and Oz. So am quite familiar with the brand and its direct marketing.

This campaign was created by my colleagues. It won an industry award for response rates. Yet at the same time it cost Amex some of their best customers.

That’s something you don’t see on award entry forms do you – a question asking “how many of your customers did you lose as a result of your marketing activity?”

The mailing was simply an A2 poster delivered in a mail tube. And it was mailed to the top 5% of customers in terms of average card spend.

The diagram is not a crime scene as some have asked me over the years. It’s an illustration of a heterosexual couple lying on sun beds.

The offer is simple – book one person for a holiday on Hayman Island and your partner can join you at half price (using your Amex to pay of course). The response was outstanding for the most part and all the available rooms were booked within a few days of the mailing.

But take a minute to think about this dear reader. If your postal address is a post box, not a street address, how do you know if a mail tube has been sent to you?

You guessed it – you receive a note from Australia Post advising you to visit the post office in their business hours.

When do you think these VIP customers go to work and return home? Probably like you, they are early starters and late finishers. So those who received their mail via a post box, were forced to make a special trip, or sent their secretaries to collect the parcel that awaited them.

When they discovered the mail tube only contained advertising material, some of these customers were so angry they cut up their cards and sent them back. These top value customers relinquished their membership. (The lesson of course is to only mail 3-D packs to street addresses, simple really)

The mailing both made and lost money for Amex, and who knows what the lifetime value of those who cancelled their cards was really worth? But hey, it did win an award…

Once again a testimony to the power direct marketing can have on your brand.

Here’s another tip: always remember to make it clear to the prospect what they are supposed to do (or not do) with the mailpack. They don’t attend the original briefing, so in certain circumstances, they need instructions on how to open the 3-D mailing. Here’s why:

One Sydney DM agency created a mailpack that nearly blinded a couple of prospects when they tried to open the mail tube. The pack contained a genuine hunting arrow with a razor-sharp metal tip designed to kill when fired from a crossbow.

The agency had an arrow in its logo so it seemed like a good idea to use one in the pack as an involvement device to highlight the agency’s targeting powers, or some such message – you can imagine the copy.

When one prospect received the mailing, he discovered that the contents were jammed in the mail tube. So he held the tube up to his eye to see what was causing the blockage. My bet dear reader, is you just flinched.

As you imagined, the arrow flew out, narrowly missed his eye and embedded itself in his chair next to his head. It nearly blinded him. Great for gaining attention, but not so good for getting the sale!

Apart from the obvious fact that you should never include anything in a mailpack which could cause harm to anyone handling it, it’s also a good idea to give your prospect some idea of how the mailpack works and how you want them to interact with it, if it in fact contains life-threatening goods.

I could go on… and I will, with just one more example.

A print company thought they had a great idea. They sent a live ferret in a cage to prospects, who were very senior decision-makers, with a note that said something like “we’ll ferret out the best print deal for you”. True story.

One manager told me they called the RSPCA to take the ferret away, as it had become a feral ferret and was hissing and spinning around the cage in a distressed state. The sales representative from the print company tried in vain for 3 days to make contact with the decision-maker. When he finally did get in touch, he was rather distressed himself about the welfare of his ferret.

He was also told in no uncertain terms what to do with his print services – something similar to the laser gun advice I received.

An epic fail to use the modern vernacular, but a hell of a lot more fun than the digital world, where you just send an email and ask the recipient to click here.

Which reminds me, I haven’t checked the mail yet today…

The Malcolm Auld Blog

~ Marketing Musings and More…

Category Archives: B2B Marketing

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Smart phones create dumb exhibitors …

Careful, you’ll go blind…

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