• About

The Malcolm Auld Blog

~ Marketing Musings and More…

The Malcolm Auld Blog

Monthly Archives: November 2017

Amazing automated marketing message wows customers…

17 Friday Nov 2017

Posted by Malcolm Auld in Advertising, BIG DATA, Branding, Content Marketing, Copywriting, Customer Service, Digital, Digital marketing, Direct Marketing, Email marketing, Marketing, Marketing Automation

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

branding, customer service, digital marketing, direct mail, marketing automation

I’ve recently returned from a trip to the USA, where among other things, my family and I rafted and hiked in the Grand Canyon for a week.

I first did the trip 30 years ago and I have to admit, the 10 mile hike to get up and out of the Canyon, was a tad more brutal this time round.

Brutal

A tad tougher hike this time…

Within a couple of days of returning I received an email survey from OARS, the company with which we rafted – I highly recommend them by the way. I dutifully completed the survey and thought nothing more of it.

But yesterday, I received this automated marketing message.

OARS 2

It’s a hand-written thank-you card, personally signed by all the OARS crew who looked after us on our rafting adventure. It is automatically sent by the crew to each customer, after they complete their trip.

OARS 1

My kids thought it was wonderful to hear from them and read every word on the card. It immediately brought back some fabulous memories and we all started talking about the different characters on the trip. The kids also asked if they could send cards back to each of the crew too.

The card now sits in a prominent place in our kitchen, for all to see.

It reminded me of a local hairdresser in my suburb. She is a very smart businesswoman who regularly wins small business awards and drives a very flash Mercedes sports car.

Twice a year she gets each of her staff to send hand-written cards to their clients. Each card includes a personal comment based on what the staff knows about their client. The owner calls these cards “wow” cards, because when the clients get them, the first thing they say is “wow“. And the clients always talk about the cards when they return to the salon.

How many of your clients go “wow” when they receive your automated marketing messages? I suspect very few.

So if you’re wasting money on expensive marketing automation software to try and fake authenticity, maybe you should spend less on computers and more on your customers and staff?

Why not send genuine messages of thanks to the people who pay your salary? Cause I seriously doubt your customers ever get as excited by fake personalised computer-generated emails sent from a team, as they do to real messages.

Who’d have thought hey – old-fashioned automated mail, packs more “wow” than customised automated content delivered as pixels?

Gotta go now – am off to the newsagent to buy some postcards for the kids to send…

raft

Share this:

  • Twitter
  • Facebook
  • LinkedIn
  • Tumblr

Like this:

Like Loading...

More than ever, the marketing industry needs genuine expertise…

10 Friday Nov 2017

Posted by Malcolm Auld in Digital marketing, Marketing, Thought Leadership

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

marketing education, marketing masters, Thought Leadership

As I’ve written before dear reader, you don’t become a brain surgeon hanging around the casualty ward. And you definitely don’t become a CMO hanging around a marketing department – unless you’re prepared to hang around for a lifetime.

You need to invest in self-improvement to really get ahead. And that doesn’t mean reading an (alleged) definitive guide on all-things digital. Or drinking in the cyber-hustler kool-aid that pretends to be the magic elixir of marketing.

As you well know, trade skills are passed on through the master-apprentice relationship. The master of the craft trains and educates the apprentice, to get them skilled enough to work in the trade.

It used to be the same in business. I went through a business apprenticeship. It even included when to use ‘regards’ versus ‘best regards’ to sign-off a letter. Unfortunately business apprenticeships have disappeared, while in the digital marketing industry, expertise has been devalued, and often dismissed.

I’ve never seen so many instant self-appointed experts. If you can type on a keyboard you’re a content marketer. Pay a ghost-writer in a third-world country to write a white paper for you and call yourself a thought leader. Even worse, publish a ‘definitive guide’ (that is not definitive) and you’re an influencer, or some self-styled crazy label like linkfluencer, socialfluencer or ninja!

In the digital marketing world, you just sprout new buzzwords for existing and proven marketing techniques, now being used online, or work in a digital business that’s name has very few vowels, and you’re a self-appointed bloody genius.

Well that was the case until these last few months, as things are beginning to change…

The pendulum has started shifting in marketing. The digital chooks are coming home to roost – evidenced by recent revelations across the digital marketing world.

Digital chooks are coming home to roost…

Here are just a few examples:

  • Agencies overcharged so much for programmatic advertising, they’re now refunding hundreds of millions of dollars to advertisers
  • Media agencies and digital publishers admit they cannot provide accurate data regarding who is viewing ads, or even where ads are being published
  • YouTube admits its content/ads appear on terrorism and hate sites
  • Facebook admits 80% of viewed videos weren’t – viewed that is
  • Facebook admits it has more than 270 million fake accounts
  • The fake internet, where sites earn ad revenue by using fake content and fake followers, is the fastest growing business category in the world
  • Instagrammers admit using stock images and buying fake followers, so they can get “influencer” contracts from naive advertisers
  • Facebook, Twitter and Google grossly underestimated Russian propaganda delivered through their sites
  • Twitter wants to sell, but nobody wants to buy, as it still hasn’t turned a profit and usage is stagnant – active usage is once per month

Every day there is more news about the problems in the digital marketing world. Interestingly, Professor Scott Galloway who teaches marketing at NYU, blames much of Facebook’s problems on the naivety and inexperience of its staff. Yet it was Zuckerberg who made the ridiculous statement years ago that “young people are just smarter“.

I’ll leave that one out there for you to contemplate dear reader.

One can only assume it’s the lack of experience causing all this industry grief – surely it wouldn’t be an ethical issue?

Inexperience hurting the digital industry…

I’ve always advised my staff and students to perpetually furnish their minds to help improve their lot. Read classic marketing books (because the principles haven’t changed) as well as contemporary ones. Read books that have nothing to do with marketing, visit art galleries, photographic exhibitions, go to the theatre, experience other creative industries for inspiration. Or to be digitally correct, #inspo.

The fastest way to learn how to get better at marketing, rather than working for years to get hands-on experience, is to pick the brains of the masters – those who’ve tasted blood. They can give you the real short-cuts you need to know, certainly more than the cyber-hustlers with their loony listicles, like “10 killer new social media lead magnet miracles that have rewritten the rules of marketing and will blow your mind“.

The only problem is, there are very few experienced executives, let alone  opportunities to learn from them. Industry conferences are full of well-meaning “speakers” showcasing their successes – though it’s rare to see failures. If you listen to any marketing seminar these days, you’d think there had never been any failures in the digital marketing industry – despite the problems outlined above.

Yet to navigate successfully, you should always sail with the mariner who knows where the reefs are located. They’ve been shipwrecked, so know the dangers. You want to work with, and learn from, experienced people who have made the odd mistake while gaining their expertise.

Sail with those who have been shipwrecked

Though I do suspect we’re going to hear more and more about failures, as the latest buzzword “transparency” permeates the industry.

I’m off to buy another book – Bob Hoffman’s Badmen. No listicles, just bare truth.

P.S. For those in Oz who want better marketing results, or fast-track their young marketing talent, get along to Drayton Bird’s final event. His brilliantly successful career spans more than four decades, including 20+ in digital marketing, so you’re bound to pick up some valuable ideas – and enjoy a drink or two with this master marketer.

Share this:

  • Twitter
  • Facebook
  • LinkedIn
  • Tumblr

Like this:

Like Loading...

Simple mathematics reveals Facebook engagement is less than letterbox leaflets…

08 Wednesday Nov 2017

Posted by Malcolm Auld in Digital, Digital marketing, Marketing, Marketing Automation, Social Media, social selling

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

customer engagement, digital marketing, facebook, social media

For a couple of years now dear reader, I have been presenting the mathematics of Facebook at marketing events. Each time I invite members of the audience to challenge them and put me straight, to make sure the numbers are correct. But nobody questions the numbers. They just nod in agreement.

Recently I’ve also replied to sales pitches from alleged Facebook experts in my inbox, and replied by inviting their assistance – with no response. But as you know, marketing automation doesn’t allow you to fake sincerity. So I don’t know if my messages have been received and ignored, or not received at all, due to the weaknesses prevalent in most marketing automation systems. That is, when you reply to a message, it gets lost in cyber-space because humans do not monitor the computers.

One issue I have with the numbers, is that I have to rely on Facebook – take it at Facevalue so to speak – when it comes to statistics. And as one of the most dishonest brands when it comes to user statistics, the numbers given out by Facebook always feel dodgy. After all FB regularly claims to have more users in an age demographic, than the living population of that demographic.

Last week folks, Facebook announced its fake accounts to be 270 million – way more than it alleged only a week earlier. Many suspect the real number of fake accounts to be much higher. It’s why so many marketers refer to FB as:

The figure for inactive accounts appears to be unknown. I have at least 3 inactive accounts that are still sitting idle and get the occasional view – according the the FB bots that notify me.

Interestingly, every teenager I know – mates of my kids – has at least one fake FB account. They use the account to log-in to games and other sites that force you to use FB to log-in. The kids don’t post to the account. The account names are fictitious. They only use the accounts for log-ins. So they are active accounts, just not socially active. Who knows how many millions of these false accounts exist around the planet? One can only assume they are included in FB’s statistics of active accounts?

So here’s the maths for you – all numbers are alleged, and taken from reputable online sources:

Total monthly active accounts = 2,000,000,000

Less fake accounts = 270,000,000

Less business accounts = 100,000,000

Less ad blockers (the single biggest consumer protest in history) = 700,000,000

Leaves alleged active accounts = 930,000,000

Percentage of users an ad on FB can reach is way less than 5%, but say 10%.

Advertising Reach = 93,000,000

Maximum engagement (Forrester and others) = 0.7%, but say 1%

Active engagement = 930,000

930,000/2,000,000,000 = 0.00465

So average active engagement = less than half of one percent!!!

This is less than an unaddressed letterbox leaflet.

That’s not so say FB won’t pay for itself, but it’s not viable for all brands or categories.

I have a number of clients who find it pays and others that don’t – it’s horses for courses. And FB is rarely the primary media channel for doing business. It’s just another channel you test and learn, then use if it works profitably.

I welcome any input into the numbers please. Also suggest you read the Ad Contrarian, Bob Hoffman for some more facts and revelations.

Gotta go – need to post this blog to reach the handful of humans who will actively engage with it on FB…

Share this:

  • Twitter
  • Facebook
  • LinkedIn
  • Tumblr

Like this:

Like Loading...

How Parcel Force fails its customers in the digital world…

06 Monday Nov 2017

Posted by Malcolm Auld in BIG DATA, Branding, Copywriting, Customer Service, Digital marketing, Email marketing, Marketing, Marketing Automation

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

customer service, marketing automation, Parcel Force

Here’s a very good lesson in how not to treat a customer…

The following email was sent to me by a colleague, who was waiting on an urgent 48-hour air shipment from Parcel Force.

Just a heads-up folks – if the first words a customer reads on your email are “Do not reply to this email” you are in fact saying “we don’t give a stuff about you”!!

PLEASE DO NOT REPLY TO THIS EMAIL.

Thank you for contacting Parcelforce Worldwide.

Our Customer service email team will aim to reply within 4 working days. The email team working hours are – Mon-Fri: 8am to 6:00pm

Here is a bit of information with regards to deliveries that you may find useful:

  • Deliveries are usually made between 7am to 6:00pm Monday to Friday.
  • Deliveries on a Saturday are only made where the sender has chosen and paid for a Saturday delivery service. These deliveries are usually made between 7am to 1pm.
  • For Customer alerts, tracking enquiries, to price a delivery and how to pay a customs charges please refer to our website at: www.parcelforce.com

If you need to speak with someone due to the urgency of your enquiry, please contact our Customer Service Team on 03448 004466 and they will be able to assist.

Thanks
Parcelforce Worldwide Customer Services

The lessons from this abomination are:

  1. Never start your email with “Please do not reply to his message…” unless part of the sentence says “Please do not reply directly to this message, but contact us as follows, blah, blah…”
  2. Never aim to reply in 4 working days to a customer request? WTF are you thinking? Imagine a customer walking into your store with a question and you say, “please wait here for about 4 days, while we don’t give a shit about you”. You don’t aim to reply, you will reply immediately.
  3. Never use a typist to write your copy – use copywriters:

This sentence implies you might find the deliveries to be useful: “Here is a bit of information with regards to deliveries that you may find useful:”

It should read something like:Here is some useful information regarding deliveries:

4. Never sign an email from a team or Customer Service Teams. Teams don’t send emails – individuals do.

5. Never say “Customer service email team” – it just doesn’t make sense. An email team? Are there hordes of junior executives waiting around to send emails 4 days after getting one in an inbox? Sign your emails from an individual and make it easy to reply to the individual.

I suggest the CEO of Parcel Force does some mystery shopping and learn what it’s like to be a customer. Maybe then the company will wake up to itself and provide real customer service. I’m sure if they keep aiming to reply to problems within 4 working days, there won’t be much work left for anyone to do.

We’ll aim to reply if we’re still in business…

Share this:

  • Twitter
  • Facebook
  • LinkedIn
  • Tumblr

Like this:

Like Loading...

How a simple incentive made me the owner of Rebel the Frenchie…

03 Friday Nov 2017

Posted by Malcolm Auld in Advertising, Content Marketing, Copywriting, Customer Service, Digital marketing, Direct Marketing, Email marketing, Marketing, Sales Promotion

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

incentives, marekting, offers, sales promotion

If there is one constant in marketing, regardless of media channel or product category, it is this:

A relevant incentive will always pay for itself…

Here’s one of my most recent examples. About three years ago, my young teenage daughter (and her brother) started hounding me (excuse the pun) to get a puppy. “It’s not fair dad, you and mum had dogs when you were kids” they’d use as argument. It was a hard claim to counter.

As we don’t have a side or rear fence, and we back onto a lagoon, I wasn’t keen to get a pet of any kind. We already have ducks, pelicans, water hens and other birds aplenty, as well as Eastern Water Dragons and Blue-tongue lizards. But persist they did.

And my daughter didn’t want just any dog. She wanted a French Bulldog. Now if you don’t know what a French Bulldog looks like, just check Instagram. They are the K9 equivalent of the Kardashians when it comes to followers. Though unlike the Kardashians, these pups reek of cuteness and are amazingly photogenic.

They also happen to cost a small fortune. You could move to France, rent a farm and raise your own litter of pups, for what you pay for one of these bundles of joy in Australia. But I digress.

In her quest to convince me, my daughter bought me a French Bulldog coffee cup, a pug calendar (pugs are almost as cute), even a French Bulldog phone cover. But I stood strong and didn’t wilt under the onslaught, having never been a fan of house dogs.

my new favourite coffee mug…

At the end of first term in 2016 my daughter failed her maths subject terribly – despite my tuition. I think she has her mother’s maths genes – she believes buying something on sale saves you money, versus not buying it at all.

So I gave my daughter an incentive. “If you finish the year with a score of more than 75%, we can get the puppy”. I reckoned I was on a good thing, but you’ve probably already guessed the outcome to this story, dear reader. Here’s part of the text message my daughter sent me in November last year – it’s not easy to argue with facts:

Looks like we’re getting a dog…

So now we have a 12 month old puppy named Rebel, and she believes every piece of furniture is a chew toy. But she’s sooo cute…

As in life, so it is in business – offer your prospects an incentive to do what you want them to do, when you want them to do it, and you’ll increase the number of prospects who do – what you want, that is.

This doesn’t mean flog discounts at every opportunity – just give people an extra reason to act. Here are a few very successful examples to demonstrate the point:

A free pair of slippers for every home loan applicant…

A free drink at the bar for completing a survey about the hotel’s function room…

And who would have thought this would be a successful incentive – a free box of toilet paper and a 30 day free trial?

Earlier this year, my daughter topped her maths class and had the audacity to ask for a second Frenchie. Given I’m the human who most follows Rebel around with a plastic bag scoopin-the-poop, my response was, well let’s just say, it was a tad “disincentivising”.

Time for a nap…

Connect with me anytime: https://www.linkedin.com/in/malcolmauld/

Share this:

  • Twitter
  • Facebook
  • LinkedIn
  • Tumblr

Like this:

Like Loading...

Recent Posts

  • WOW a 5-hour marketing seminar on a subject that doesn’t exist…
  • Good grief, now LinkedIn staff are sending unsolicited social selling spam…
  • Another example of social selling failure with marketing automation on LinkedIn…
  • Has COVID killed the culture cult…
  • Social selling has become the new spam…

Archives

  • February 2022
  • January 2022
  • November 2021
  • October 2021
  • May 2021
  • April 2021
  • March 2021
  • December 2020
  • August 2020
  • July 2020
  • June 2020
  • May 2020
  • April 2020
  • March 2020
  • January 2020
  • December 2019
  • October 2019
  • September 2019
  • August 2019
  • July 2019
  • June 2019
  • May 2019
  • March 2019
  • February 2019
  • December 2018
  • October 2018
  • September 2018
  • July 2018
  • June 2018
  • May 2018
  • March 2018
  • February 2018
  • January 2018
  • December 2017
  • November 2017
  • October 2017
  • September 2017
  • August 2017
  • July 2017
  • June 2017
  • May 2017
  • April 2017
  • March 2017
  • December 2016
  • November 2016
  • August 2016
  • July 2016
  • June 2016
  • May 2016
  • March 2016
  • February 2016
  • November 2015
  • August 2015
  • July 2015
  • June 2015
  • May 2015
  • April 2015
  • March 2015
  • February 2015
  • December 2014
  • November 2014
  • October 2014
  • September 2014
  • August 2014
  • July 2014
  • June 2014
  • May 2014
  • April 2014
  • February 2014
  • January 2014
  • December 2013
  • November 2013
  • October 2013
  • September 2013
  • August 2013
  • July 2013
  • June 2013
  • May 2013
  • April 2013
  • March 2013
  • February 2013
  • January 2013
  • April 2012
  • March 2012
  • February 2012
  • January 2012

Categories

  • Advertising
  • B2B Marketing
  • BIG DATA
  • Branding
  • Content Marketing
  • Copywriting
  • Culture
  • Customer Service
  • Digital
  • Digital marketing
  • Direct Marketing
  • Email marketing
  • Group Buying
  • Marketing
  • Marketing Automation
  • Media
  • Meetings
  • Mobile marketing
  • PPC
  • QR Codes
  • Remarketing
  • retail
  • Sales
  • Sales Promotion
  • SEM & SEO
  • small data
  • Social Media
  • social selling
  • Telemarketing
  • Thought Leadership
  • Uncategorized
  • Viral marketing

Meta

  • Register
  • Log in
  • Entries feed
  • Comments feed
  • WordPress.com

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Blog at WordPress.com.

  • Follow Following
    • The Malcolm Auld Blog
    • Join 542 other followers
    • Already have a WordPress.com account? Log in now.
    • The Malcolm Auld Blog
    • Customize
    • Follow Following
    • Sign up
    • Log in
    • Report this content
    • View site in Reader
    • Manage subscriptions
    • Collapse this bar
 

Loading Comments...
 

    %d bloggers like this: