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The Malcolm Auld Blog

Monthly Archives: August 2015

Newsagents should be wary of Instagram…

10 Monday Aug 2015

Posted by Malcolm Auld in Customer Service, Sales Promotion, Social Media

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

Instagram, sales promotion, social media, Tiger Lily

Those of you who work in fashion will know how powerful Instagram has become as a tool for sales promotions. Of course they’re no longer called sales promotions – for some strange reason everything has been relabeled in the digital world. They now have new digi-names, like social activation event, or customer engagement experience, or content marketing lead magnet, blah, blah, blah.

So yesterday (Sunday morning), my bride and I went to quickly buy a birthday card and gift voucher for a 12 year old boy, before getting into the rest of the day. After getting the card at the newsagent, my bride went to buy the gift voucher at the surf shop, while I went across the mall to get some cash from the ATM. It was team work designed to get back home promptly.

Next door to the bank was a newly opened Tiger Lily store. My bride shouted to me “meet me in the Tiger Lily store – they’re having an opening event today, I saw it on Instagram“. I immediately sensed a trap. Why hadn’t we gone to the usual card shop where we get the funny birthday cards? Thoughts of Ole Lynggaard and Lee Mathews rushed through my mind.

Grabbing the cash from the ATM I ran into the store and straight to the manager. This very polite 20-something smiled beautifully and asked if she could help me – given my panicked state.

store maanger

Store manager with trusty assistant…

I said “this might sound strange, but could you possibly put a ‘sold out’ sign out the front or maybe close the doors with a ‘gone to lunch’ sign, just for a half hour? My bride knows about your promotion from Instagram and is on her way here soon – please help me?”

The women shopping in the store smiled knowingly. The store manager just said “your bride must have impeccable taste“. I said “she does, she married me, but that’s beside the point“. I went to the front door to head off my bride. As she approached I exclaimed the store was sold out, so there was no need to enter. But she was having none of it – she was on a shopping mission and I was doomed.

So I sat on the husband/boyfriend couch at the front of the store and was soon accompanied by another poor bloke. I told him I came shopping for a 12 year old’s birthday card and asked him what he thought he was doing when he left home? He and his partner were dressed in lycra and fitness gear – he thought they were out for a healthy walk. “It explains why she packed her credit card, not a water bottle” he sighed.

“Instagram?” I asked – “Instagram” he nodded.

Husband couch

The husband/boyfriend couch…

My bride tried on a dress. All the women shoppers and the sales staff in the dressing rooms gushed at how wonderful she looked, as they turned their heads to me. It was obviously a conspiracy. What is the collective noun for women shopping in a pack? I dare not guess.

The store manager’s trusty assistant offered me a health drink – beetroot, carrot and some other juice. I suggested single malt would be more appropriate given the circumstances.

Suffice to say we finally left the store with a new dress, new hat (thrown in, given the value of the dress purchase) a free posy of flowers (as we were one of their first customers) and a health drink. And now we’re on their database.

Mal in shock

Still in shock I carry the new hat, posy and health drink – damn expensive birthday card…

It’s no wonder newsagents are struggling – from now on we’re buying birthday cards online. We’ll go broke otherwise…

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Two marketers walk into a bar and laugh at the ABC’s poor grammar…

07 Friday Aug 2015

Posted by Malcolm Auld in Content Marketing

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

@ABCNews24, content marketing, Mick Fanning, shark attack, Thought Leadership

Last week @ABCnews24 published this headline: “Man seriously injured after being attacked by shark”.

You’ve got to feel for the poor bloke. He’s just been attacked by a shark. He’s distressed and probably in need of medical attention. But according to the ABC, he then gets seriously injured after the shark attack!!

What shocking luck. I wonder – did the paramedics drop him as they lifted him into the ambulance? Did he slip on rocks as he fled the surf? Are muggers lurking on our beaches just waiting to assault any poor sod who has been attacked by the men in grey suits?

Maybe the ABC should stick to what it does best – attacking the government.

So, given the topical nature of sharks and the incident involving legendary World Surfing Champion Mick Fanning, here’s some shark humour from the interweb.

avagoodweegend…

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Is your digital marketing leaving cigarette burn marks on your customers…

02 Sunday Aug 2015

Posted by Malcolm Auld in B2B Marketing, Branding, Content Marketing, Digital, Digital marketing, Direct Marketing, Email marketing, Marketing Automation, Thought Leadership

≈ 9 Comments

Tags

content marketing, digital marketing, linkedin, remarketing, retargeting, social selling, Thought Leadership

Depending upon what you read, almost two thirds of all activity on the internet is computer generated. Bots, crawlers, scrapers, autoresponders and marketing automation dominate the internet. Human connectivity is in the minority.

Given our love affair with social media, this is pretty scary stuff. As marketers lean on computers and data points to trigger activity, more and more marketing messages come from machines than humans.

dailydotai

computers create more content than humans…

One current trend is remarketing or retargeting – depending upon your preference for buzzwords. And the result is not always positive.

Burning customers didn’t start with the internet though. The first instance of the “cigarette burn” problem in marketing came with the proliferation of telemarketing. The problem of unsolicited calls into homes became so bad, governments around the world created ‘do not call‘ registers, so the public could opt-in to opt-out of getting telemarketing calls.

Do-Not-Call-1

Then came the ‘do not mail‘ registers so people could opt-in to opt-out of getting mail. And thanks to marketers and online scam-merchants abusing the email channel, spam laws were created to protect consumers.

“It’s a sad reflection on the industry that anti-marketing laws were passed, because marketers abused the personal media channels vital for connection with the people who make them money – customers.”

One of the problems with personal channels and personalised messaging on websites, is the way marketers measure success. We only measure one half of the activity – those people who respond. We never measure those people who don’t respond – the majority of people who get the message. So you may unwittingly be leaving lots of little cigarette burns on your customers.

cig burn

Are you leaving cigarette burns on your prospects and customers?

Your intent is to make a positive statement about your brand. Your measurement says you are successful because it only measures results from your point of view, not the customers. But what are you doing to the majority who have no interest in your content marketing?

Here are some insights to help you when creating your content:

Amazing Insight 1: Customers don’t really care about brands

Amazing Insight 2: Customers don’t want relationships with brands

Amazing Insight 3: Customers don’t want to engage with brands

Amazing Insight 4: Customers don’t want to join a conversation with a brand

Amazing Insight 5: Customers get pissed off if you irritate them with irrelevant content marketing about your brand

Yet given every brand is now a publisher, customers are being burnt more than ever before with an oversupply of content designed to help the brand’s search results, or trying to position the brand’s alleged thought leadership in the false belief consumers will be seduced by the charms of the content.

LinkedIn has become the ash tray of B2B marketing

Sadly LinkedIn appears to be a constant stream of smouldering cigarette butts leaving burns on the collective memory of customers and prospects: regular approaches by fake accounts trying to connect; people asking to connect who then immediately flog their wares to you; lists of secrets to success; personal posts with no relevance to business; saccharine, glib motivational posts which depress rather than inspire; content, content and more content – you cannot avoid wincing each time you log-on.

Unicode

Sadly, LinkedIn is becoming the ashtray for content marketer’s cigarette burns

The social selling industry is addicted to leaving burn marks on prospects, with its belief you need to smother people in self-serving content, rather than invite them to respond or buy.

I recently had one bloke in the UK send me a direct message on LinkedIn to promote his thought leadership whitepaper. He didn’t even have the courtesy to invite me to connect with him. He assumed I would be more interested in his content marketing, than connecting. This constant mediocrity driven by the new social salesperson is becoming depressing.

Social selling is a confusing paradox

If you believe the hype, you no longer need to do any selling to succeed in B2B marketing. All you have to do is provide content and your prospects will automatically buy as result of your amazing thought leadership.

If the Social Selling B.S. is true and there’s no longer any selling, why isn’t it called Social Content or Social Mediocrity or Social Business Development? Why is it called Social Selling if there’s no selling involved? Hmmm?

Me thinks there’s another digital scam afoot – driven by trend blindness and people who don’t like being accountable, or just aren’t very good at selling.

I think that’s enough content for today – I have to go earn a living…

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Recent Posts

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