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Yes folks, the excitement is building as another retailer prepares to amaze the world with its awesomeness.

It’s almost as exciting as car sale events. Notice how car dealers no longer have sales? They have “sales events“. WTF – do customers need to buy tickets to buy a car?

It’s like job titles. Nobody sells anything any more. You cannot find a sales person. Everyone’s a Business Development Manager – or BDM for the buzzword brigade. What I don’t understand is that if every sales person is now a manager and nobody has responsibility for selling, who’s doing all the work?

What does a BDM manage? Certainly not any staff. And in some cases not many sales!

But here’s what I’m so excited about – you may have seen similar things in your local shopping centre. That’s right dear reader – are you ready to start something awesome???

Warringah Mall

This utter drivel is a full shop-front sign at my local shopping mall – it blocks the whole front of the store.

What was the writer smoking? This “message to a mall” folks, is to announce the amazing occurrence of a St George bank opening a branch in that particular location.

“How awesome is that” I hear you scream!

It’s no wonder the public has no respect for advertising and marketing types. We rank second last on the ethics and honesty rankings – just below real estate agents and one above car salesmen. Or should that be Car BDMs?

And the reason they don’t trust marketers is everywhere. We marketers don’t just talk rubbish, we pay money to have it printed on giant outdoor posters – and published online and in print and on TV…

I wonder the job title of the person who approved this crap: Business Development Manager? Customer Engagement Manager? Customer Experience Manager? Maybe it was the Content Marketing Manager’s fault?

Who knows – or cares? Certainly St George doesn’t care what people think of them. How else can you explain them believing the opening of a bank branch is the start of something awesome.

Maybe I’m judging them harshly. Could they have invented some sort of wearable banking technology – a fitness app that allows me to save money and pay my bills with every stride, and it also tells the time?

Where’s my sleeping bag! I’m going to camp outside the store to be the first in line to get a piece of this awesomeness. And the first to post it on social media – #awesome.