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The Malcolm Auld Blog

Monthly Archives: December 2013

Digital Marketing Predictions 2014 – The Rolling Stones were right…

19 Thursday Dec 2013

Posted by Malcolm Auld in Advertising, BIG DATA, Branding, Content Marketing, Copywriting, Digital, Direct Marketing, Marketing, Social Media

≈ 10 Comments

Tags

2014 predictions, advertising, BIG data, branding, content marketing, copywrititng, digital marketing trends, direct marketing, marketing, marketing predictions, marketing trends, small data, social media

In 1965 The Rolling Stones released “Satisfaction” – a classic rock song about commercialism (and sexual frustration). Here’s the lyrics from the first verse:

When I’m drivin’ in my car
And that man comes on the radio
He’s tellin’ me more and more
About some useless information
Supposed to fire my imagination

How right they were and still are today. Just adapt the lyrics for the digi-world and the song is as relevant today as it was 50 years ago:

When I’m sittin at my computer
Another digi-marketer starts spruiking
Tellin me publish more and more content
About anything, it doesn’t matter
You’ll make a fortune just doin nothin

Hey hey hey…

rolling-stones

If only the digi-spruikers studied history, they’d realise there is almost nothing new in marketing, apart from technology. People still buy emotionally and justify rationally, regardless of the technology they use to research and buy things.

Nothing happens in business until you sell something. And it’s the same in personal relationships. Even the humble dating process requires both parties to sell their best attributes if they are going to motivate the other to buy their wares, so to speak. I’m not sure any potential partner will take delight in you boring them to death with irrelevant content about the mundane aspects of your life – just for content’s, sorry, conversation’s sake.

And so as 2013 comes to a close it’s only right that we make a few predictions about marketing in a digital world in 2014. Here’s 14 for 2014:

1. Marketers will continue to follow marketing fashion rather than marketing function. They will still be attracted to the bright shiny digital objects, that look and sound amazing, but don’t build a brand, let alone sell goods and services.

2. Spurious claims will continue to be made that nobody has to sell anything anymore. The cyber-hustlers will try to convince the world that all you need to do is create content, then like moths to a flame, prospects will appear from nowhere to become your customers. All a humble marketer has to do is tweet, blog, post to Facebook, upload to YouTube, drop a photo on Instagram, write white papers, etc, etc and business will take care of itself. Forget selling for a living.

3. There will be a BIG increase in the number of BIG DATA experts, as those who were once social media experts, jump onto the latest digital fashion and become BIG DATA experts. And you can rest assured that those who preach about their plans for BIG DATA, have yet to get their their small data in order.

4. The words “sales” and “profit” and the acronym “ROI” will still never be used to justify the use of social media or content marketing.

5. Alleged experts will claim the traditional channels that have always worked, will somehow miraculously cease to work. They’ll preach that all humans will completely change their natural habits and only believe what they see on their social media of choice, ignoring all other media.

6. Infographics will continue to be used to imply credibility for their authors. This is despite the fact they are composed mostly of glib statements, useless charts, designer fonts, a few colours and nothing to do with making money.

7. The only people imploring marketers to focus on social media and content marketing are those who’ve never made money themselves using social media or content marketing. They make their money telling others to use social media and content marketing.

8. Your A.S.S Time will continue to get less and less, as more and more crap is posted on social media or as ‘content marketing‘. And so those who rely upon social news feeds to publish content for their marketing, will more and more achieve less and less.

9. Over 90% of all social media posts will still never be seen, let alone read or viewed. That’s mainly because there will still be 24 hours in the day and the general population cannot squeeze more time to view the exponentially growing volume of useless digital information – supposed to fire my imagination – sorry I was channeling Jagger.

10. Apparently consumers will now control brands because they have smart phones and tablet computers connected to the internet and they publish their mundane thoughts. Marketers just need to create a product and give it a brand name, then leave it to the consumers to control the brand via their connections. As a result, there will no longer any need for advertising agencies, marketing departments, sales people or R & D.

11. Those with the least marketing experience will be the most highly valued. If you have a resume that says you’ve only had a few year’s experience in a handful of digital marketing channels, you will be valued far more than someone with more than 20 years marketing experience across all marketing channels – online and offline. The original madmen will continue to turn in their graves as a result.

12. The term “join the conversation…” will be the most over-used and meaningless phrase in the media and marketing worlds. Absolutely it will be. In fact it will be said more than “absolutely”.

13. LinkedIn – now known as “Facebook with a Necktie” – will be the primary cause of productivity loss in offices large and small, as “members” continuously check to see who has endorsed them, read their posts, checked their profiles or gone Premium. BTW, I hope lots of people read this on LinkedIn…whoops.

14. Santa Claus is real…

Trust me I work in digital marketing…

malcolm as santa

Have a wonderful festive season and I look forward to getting some satisfaction posting again in the new year…

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Two marketers share some Chrissie laughs……

18 Wednesday Dec 2013

Posted by Malcolm Auld in Content Marketing

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Tags

Christmas jokes, content marketing, marketing jokes, Merry Christmas

Xmas joke  7

Xmas joke  6

Xmas joke  5

Xmas joke  4

Xmas joke  3

Xmas joke 2

Xmas joke 1

Xmas joke  7

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Hi ho, hi ho, it’s off to Wet n Wild we go – well sort of…

17 Tuesday Dec 2013

Posted by Malcolm Auld in Customer Service, Marketing

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

customer service, marketing, wet n wild

Well folks, after the disaster that was Wet n Wild’s woeful website last week, we decided to take a different tack to part with our money.

Yes it was brave. But we prepared well. I made coffee and cut Christmas cake, then my bride rang Wet n Wild and stayed on hold!!!

And stayed on hold…

And stayed on hold…

And stayed on hold…

For 65+ minutes she stayed on hold! What a trooper.

Eventually a human being answered the phone. Lovely chap – we’ll not use his name to protect his identity. He admitted he could see on the computer our attempts to spend money with them. He also admitted to being one of only five people in their customer service call centre.

Yes folks, on the biggest day in the history of the new Wet n Wild – there were only five people serving. Which explains the automated message “we are experiencing a higher than normal volume of calls blah, blah, blah…”

It had only been open one day – how do they measure higher than normal call volumes?

So my bride finally parted with some hard-earned and this morning she ventured out in peak hour traffic with kids in tow.

But wait – now we cut to real-time reporting. Because as I type, she has just rung to share her Wet n Wild customer experience. I think the digi-spruikers mean she now controls the brand because she is talking about it. Such digi-power must be intoxicating.

“…yes dear, you’ve been there for over 90 minutes and you’re still miles from the pre-paid ticket gate. You reckon it will be 2.5 hours wait to get your tickets and you cannot buy drinks anywhere and the kids are already over it. Yes dear, they only have a few temporary shade areas. Sounds like you’re not having much fun…sorry I didn’t mean it like that. You’ll send me photos? Thank you…yes dear, oh the Police have now arrived to calm things down, wow…and you want me to buy you what to drink tonight? A case not a bottle? Yes dear.”

part of the queue for tickets

part of the queue for tickets

undercover shading with happy faces

undercover shading with happy faces

Here’s a quick quiz for you folks: How many ticket gates would you expect to manage the manic rush of thousands of customers in the first week of school holidays? Well you don’t have to guess dear reader. There was only one ticket gate, but eventually they opened four windows to handle the traffic (probably due to the higher than usual visitor volume?) And then it takes about 10 minutes to serve each customer – it’s a time and motion fantasy-land.

ticket gates

Apparently the queue for online prepaid tickets was longer than the walk-up queue – another plus for online marketing. My bride and the kids arrived at 9am and they reached the ticket booth at 11.15am. To quote my bride – “it would have been faster to fly to the Gold Coast for the day than to wait in line here!”

Oh, the other customer-friendly thing they do at Wet n Wild is use security guards to physically prevent customers from bringing their own tap water in a drink bottle, or their own sandwiches, fruit or other food a typical family might bring on a day out.  They want to rape and pillage customers with over-priced bottled water, soft drinks, fast food – and the odd “healthy choice” at very unhealthy prices. And the wait to get a lousy burger is more than one hour.

I wonder what happens if your kids have food allergies?

Now it’s 3.45pm and my bride has just rung again. “Guess how many rides I’ve been able to have since we entered the park at 11.15am?” I did some maths and based on experienced suggested six to eight. “Three” was her answer. So they were staying a lot later to ensure they went on as many rides as possible.

Luckily I’m not joining the family today – I’m still recovering from my last trip. Click here if you’re interested.

Apparently my bride isn’t the only upset customer. Check out the comments on the Wet n Wild Facebook page.

The family is now home – 13.5 hours after leaving. To cap off my bride’s customer experience, a distressed man approached her for help during the afternoon. He was with a group of his daughter’s pre-teen girlfriends. One of the young girls had her first period and he didn’t know what to do. It wasn’t his daughter and he couldn’t go into the women’s toilet and just wanted a woman to help the girl.

My bride checked the toilets for the standard dispensers of women’s things. Nothing there. She talked with the girl and went to the first-aid centre for assistance – they looked at her like she was an alien.

They had nothing to help the poor girl. I suppose why would they? Only about 25% of their customers are pre-teen girls, who want to have fun on water rides!

Luckily I went to the bottle shop today – one bottle for my bride to recover and one for me as she graciously shares her experience with me again this evening:)

I think next time we’ll encourage another parent to take the kids on a fun day out…

Bring on the plastic sheet and garden hose!

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Wet n Wild – woeful washed-up website wages war with wailing wife…

13 Friday Dec 2013

Posted by Malcolm Auld in Branding, Customer Service, Digital, Marketing

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

branding, customer service, digital marketing, marketing, wet n wild

My bride is not happy. As we have kids under 12, it is compulsory that during these holidays, we take them and their friends to the brand new, biggest in the universe, Wet n Wild World in Sydney. You’ll understand if you have kids.

Wet N Wild Sydney

Some of you may recall what happened to me last January when I went to the Walley Worlds on the Gold Coast – the pain is still with me. Click here if you like to laugh at other people’s misfortune:)

But it’s not the fact my bride is taking the kids to Wet N Wild that has made her unhappy. Rather it’s the nightmare she has faced trying to book the tickets using their website that has ruined her day – and my weekend. To quote in various pitches of voice tone and volume:

“What kind of fool designed this site? I cannot get it loaded on any of our computers.”

“I’ve just entered details for 4 people, including names and email addresses. It then asks me to join up, so I hit the button and the screen freezes.”

“What! It’s telling me it doesn’t have enough space for my email address. Aaagghh it just disconnected me when I hit shopping cart!”

“Now they want my postal address. I cannot wait for the tickets in the mail, I want to go tomorrow!”

“Obviously they don’t have a customer service department. I rang their phone number as I cannot find out on their website what age they regard as “child” – is it 10 or 12 years? They give you 8 minutes of marketing B.S. then tell you there is a 50 minute wait to speak to someone. Why don’t they tell you up-front there is a 50 minute wait, then bore you to tears with their marketing B.S.? How many others hung up like I did?”

Wet n Wild website - go ahead, ruin my day...

Wet n Wild website – go ahead, ruin my day…

She has tried 3 different computers from desktops to hand-helds and estimates wasting over 3.5 hours of her life, just trying to buy 4 tickets. We still don’t have them after six attempts. Apparently we are registered as a user, but that doesn’t help at all.

So, as the brave male of the household, I decided to look at the site and sort things out – it is singularly one of the worst designed sites I’ve ever seen. I tried to book tickets – what a joke! This site is a complete disaster and an embarrassment to the digital marketing industry. I have gone around in circles trying to part with money and the site keeps sending me nowhere.

What kind of person designed the site? Well it’s not really hard to guess – a digital marketing expert most likely. Those people who know bugger-all about customers and marketing, but a little about technology, and they use lots of buzzwords.

Think about this for a minute. yesterday was opening day at the new Wet n Wild World. It’s the start of the school holidays. Over 3,000 Gold Members attended the soft launch this week. The collective Walley Worlds, who compete with each other on the Gold Coast, have banded together to run ads ads because they quite rightly fear they are going to lose enormous business to the new park in Sydney. There’s been loads of publicity about the new park. The anticipation on every kid under 12 is like Christmas Eve when they believed.

Yet on the day after opening day, apart from being one of the most user-unfriendly sites on the internet, it is designed to handle the volume of traffic equivalent to a freezing cold Wednesday in Winter!

If only our kids could feel as aggrieved as we do and therefore not want to go. And we dare not risk the drive out there, it’s a couple of hours in morning peak hour. Imagine arriving to discover tickets were not available?

I’m off to the hardware store to find a long sheet of plastic and the garden hose – welcome to dad’s water park kids – woo hoo!!

dad's water parkJPG

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You ling, we bling…me Likey…

12 Thursday Dec 2013

Posted by Malcolm Auld in Advertising, Branding, Content Marketing, Copywriting, Direct Marketing, Marketing

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

advertising, bling, branding, content marketing, copywriting, direct marketing, marketing, Miss Chu

Thanks for the positive comments for yesterday’s post about Miss Chu (and ERM). Coincidentally, and unbeknown to me, there was an article this week in a magazine called Wish. It’s a free monthly magazine published with The Australian newspaper. Her story is fascinating – read it on her website.

Miss Chu uses Asian English in her communications, such as “You ling, we bling” for home-delivery and “Me Likey” as the icon for Facebook Likes and “Me Hungry” is a headline.

As her biography states: “Like many people who understand and respect the role of humour in society MissChu has decided to use the awful slurs she grew up with and still feels lies just beneath the surface of many interactions with White Australia and turn it into comedic commentary.”

Miss Chu

Though her real mission is to use her fame to highlight the plight of Vietnamese refugees in Australia – read the article here.

Even more coincidence…

Yesterday I also received a personal letter from ERM. This is the electricity mob I mentioned in the same post as Miss Chu. Curiously I suggested they should write a personalised letter, as it would work better than the unaddressed card. Spooky stuff.

Unfortunately the letter is not much better than the card. The company has fallen into a familiar trap of talking about themselves, rather than the benefits for the prospect.

I use reading glasses these days, but did the salutation have to be printed in 24 point font? The letter uses various font sizes, colours and full points after every subheading – a big no-no.

And the brand Nazis have really gotten to it – everything is printed dark blue and orange. The logo and tag line appear to use three different font sizes and two different colours, as well as a full point. As a result it looks like an advertisement dressed up as a letter, which affects its credibility.

ERM letter

One thing you need to be careful with direct mail, is where the letter folds. In this case it folds right along the headline following the salutation, so it is difficult to read.

Even worse is the headline: Isn’t it time you switched to the business-only experts?

The subconscious answer to a question like this is “No, why should I? What’s In It For Me?

A headline needs to include a benefit, or news – something to encourage the reader to continue reading. For example:

Alternate headline: Switch to ERM and in less than 5 minutes you’ll save $hundreds, lock in a competitive rate to avoid price rises – and get a FREE iPad…

The above headline says it’s easy to do, saves you money now and in the future and offers a reward for doing so. It’s far more powerful. You are encouraged to read on…

Like the unaddressed card, the letter focuses on the company not the reader. The best part for the reader is mentioned in the last 3 bullet points. If you want people to believe you, get other people to talk about you – it’s why testimonials are so powerful.

ERM has won a customer service award two years running. Where are the testimonials from customers to reinforce why they won? If I wrote the letter it would be something like:

Dear Name

If you’re like most business owners, you want to keep your costs to a minimum. Now you have a new way to do so. With ERM you can immediately cut your electricity costs and lock in a competitive rate, so there are no surprises in the future.

And if you switch to ERM by <date> we’ll give you a FREE iPad to use in your business or home.

Here’s what Ted Bloke, CEO of Another Company, says about his switch to ERM: “insert copy from Ted and print in italics with quotation marks“

And Jose Person, Founder of That Company Over There, says after he switched: “insert copy from Jose and print in italics with quotation marks“

It takes less than 5 minutes to switch using our online service – www.ermforsmallbusiness.com.au

No exit fees

And unlike ordinary electricity suppliers, if you choose to leave us, ERM does not charge exit fees. It’s just one of the many reasons ERM has been rated No. 1 for service and value by our customers two years running (Utility Market Intelligence Survey*).

Call to action, contact details and signature file

P.S. Remember it takes less than 5 minutes to switch and you get a FREE iPad – but you must switch by <date>

This letter focuses on the prospect. It includes benefits and an offer, with support from existing customers via testimonials and independent research. It could be improved with some editing and layout. I just drafted it quickly for demonstration purposes.

Your copy is the one thing that doesn’t cost a lot to get right, yet it can have an enormous impact on your bottom line. Just because you can type doesn’t make you a copywriter – don’t skimp on your copywriting investment.

bling

Incidentally, do you know why in the US the term “bling” refers to cheap junk jewellery? Firstly it’s not a word, it’s a sound – “bling” – so it’s easy to say. It was created by people who were too stupid to spell “cheap junk jewellery” so they called it “bling” instead – much easier to say and spell.

Me think, maybe not so stupid…

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Me Hungry! for Miss Chu’s marketing…

11 Wednesday Dec 2013

Posted by Malcolm Auld in Advertising, Branding, Copywriting, Direct Marketing, Marketing

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

advertising, branding, copywriting, direct mail, direct marketing, letterbox, marketing, Miss Chu

Letterboxes are a wonderful part of our lives. Every day mine creates a sense of anticipation as I open it to see what surprises are in store. A couple of days ago it served up two very interesting pieces of mail. One is something I wished I’d created myself. The other, sadly, is a complete disaster.

Here they are:

Me Hungry! from Miss Chu the “Queen of Rice Paper Rolls“

For those who don’t know, Miss Chu is a fast-growing restaurant chain offering Vietnamese food in a retail “tuck-shop”. The signature food is rice paper rolls, but the menu offers far more choice. There is even a floating tuck-shop on Sydney Harbour, you can check its location via the website.

This is an unaddressed mailing that has a menu inserted into a pair of wooden chopsticks. You cannot avoid reading it when it arrives in your letterbox.

Miss Chu 002

Miss Chu 005

Miss Chu 004

Miss Chu 006

Unlike most take-away menus you get in the mail, this one is jam-packed with everything you need to know and delivers an incredible feeling of authenticity.

There is a postal watermark, that appeared on the hoarding of the tuck-shop as it was being built. It now appears on printed material as well as on the wall in store. The tuck-shop is a crowded hole-in-the wall, just like you’d find in Asia. It serves food for take-away and eat-in.

The mailing promotes the iphone app for easy online ordering. It opens to reveal the menu and an offer of a FREE steamed pork bun for orders over $20. The reverse side has a location mud-map, social media addresses and replicas of Miss Chu’s passport and immigration details. She was apparently a Vietnamese refugee who sailed to Oz on a leaky boat in the 1970’s.

There’s also a passport stamp promoting the awards the restaurants have won, along with the image of Miss Chu that appears to be taken from her original passport photo.

Everything about this mailing works – it is tactile and cannot be ignored, particularly as it uses a simple but relevant involvement device – chopsticks. It has all the information you need to buy – menu with prices, location map, website details and an offer. It’s supported by information about recent awards and it folds up to an easy-to-store size – on your fridge, in a drawer or even a purse.

Most importantly it has charm – one of the keys to getting emotional engagement. I’m going to take up the offer soon – they serve great dumplings. Interestingly, the mailing is so authentic that I’ve typed “she” as if I was referring to the individual Miss Chu while writing this piece. I had to delete “she” and replace it.

The other mailing in my letterbox on the same day as Miss Chu’s was this:

An addressed orange envelope with a card inside

Sadly it is wrong in so many ways – particularly in comparison to Miss Chu’s.

Firstly, while an orange envelope stands out, there is no reason offered to open it. But as I’m an inquisitive sod, I opened it anyway.

Here’s the card – both sides:

Miss Chu 007

Miss Chu 008

Let’s look at the headline – when it comes to changing the game in electricity we mean business.

This headline is just a glib statement. It has no benefit for the reader, is all about the company that wrote it, not about the prospective customer. And it doesn’t even make sense. Changing what game? Electricity isn’t a game – it’s just bloody expensive. If they can provide cheaper electricity why not say so? And a full point at the end of the headline tells the reader to stop reading. Halt! Go no further. (not now, please read on)

The reverse is even worse. The headline is: ERM Business energy is dedicated solely to business electricity. And it’s accompanied by a man with a blue tie on a factory floor without a caption identifying him. It is followed by a subhead; What does this mean? This is followed by; It means we have the experience that matters for small business. (are you getting excited dear reader?)

There is no WIIFM in these statements. What’s In It For Me?

The bullet points don’t help at all. The first, which is usually the most powerful, says: Australian owned with a 30-year history in the energy sector. How does this help me the customer?

The second says: rated #1 for customer satisfaction by big business customers for the past two years. I thought ERM was for small businesses?

The third starts to scrape the bottom of the barrel: Accurate billing designed from the ground up for small business. I would assume that accurate billing is a given. You won’t keep many customers if your invoices are wrong. How difficult is it to send an invoice saying how much electricity a customer has used?

The next two bullet points don’t offer much either.

Unfortunately this communication offers not one reason to use ERM. They’ve given no reasons to switch from existing electricity suppliers. They haven’t identified a problem or how they provide a better service than the one I use now. Even worse, they have invested in renting a list and personalised the envelope, but have not personalised the message inside.

A personal letter from the CEO of ERM addressed to me, explaining in simple terms why their service is better and what value or savings they offer, would have done far more for their sales and brand than this waste of time and money.

Interesting that the humble Miss Chu tuck-shop, which you’d expect has a limited budget, can do a better job than a major energy company with money to burn.

There’s an idea. Maybe ERM should use the rest of their cards as fuel for a power station? Or maybe they should hire Miss Chu to do their marketing?

I’m off to get some dumplings, which is probably why my bride refers to my rippling stomach as a “one-pack” rather than a “six-pack”!

Mmmm dumplings...

Mmmm dumplings…

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The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated…

09 Monday Dec 2013

Posted by Malcolm Auld in Digital, Direct Marketing

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

digital cards, direct marketing, send out cards

To quote Mark Twain, “the reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated“. And so it is with the doom-sayers claiming the death of printed media – particularly mail. They are greatly exaggerated.

There are many print businesses booming – and ironically it’s all thanks to digital technology and the internet. One of the business categories flourishing is the customised card business. These online brands allow you to create printed customised cards for any occasion via a website.

One of the brands is Send Out Cards. It’s a simple concept. Here’s all you do:

  • Open an account
  • Upload images
  • Select a card format
  • Create your card – message, font and images
  • Address the card
  • Hit the send button

Your card is then printed, inserted in an envelope (unless it’s a postcard) and mailed with a stamp on the cover. It has your images, your choice of font (size and colour) and your personal message. The card is completely customised.

When your card arrives, your recipient opens it and says “wow, how did they do that?”

And this is where the insight comes in that makes Send Out Cards different. The majority of digital card sites don’t understand LTV – the Lifetime Value of the customer. They price their cards in a similar range to store-bought cards, so repeat purchase is not high.

But the people at Send Out Cards realised three things:

1. Most people buy lots of cards each year for lots of different occasions – birthdays, anniversaries, Valentine’s Day, Mother’s Day, Christmas, etc.
2. There are two people involved with every card – the sender and the recipient.
3. Pricing their cards more competitively than store-bought and other digital cards means people will likely send more cards.

So every card printed by Send Out Cards has a unique URL that allows the recipient to check out how the card was created, and if they want, become a Send Out Cards customer themselves.

I’ve seen research that suggests people will spend up to 45 minutes selecting the right card for their partner. I think in the case of men, they spend ages selecting a card not because they are trying to find the right card, but because they want to avoid selecting the wrong card.

There’s nothing worse than the death-stare of daggers from a spouse or girlfriend who thinks you didn’t put enough thought into their birthday card. “But I thought you would laugh at a joke about getting older honey, not that you look older or anything. Would you like a cuppa…”

'Hi Honey. Still mad?'

The other unique insight by the Send Out Cards team was to set up the business as a network marketing company. In this way their customers become their marketers, so they spend almost nothing on traditional marketing expenses. The unique URL printed on each card belongs to the sender. If the recipient goes to the sender’s URL and opens an account, the sender gets a clip of the ticket each time the recipient sends a card. Ingenious.

And the cards are about 20% of the cost of a store-bought card, including postage. There are numerous formats and sizes – and every card created is unique. You can even send gifts with your card – as Send Out Cards has an online gift store that includes gifts like chocolate fudge, cakes and other goodies.

The business has grown by more than 25% per annum year on year since launch. And it has one simple mission – to become big enough to acquire Hallmark. I like a BBHO (that’s a Bloody Big Hairy Objective).

I use Send Out Cards – but it’s not a business for me, like it is for some. I am about to send my Christmas cards, so thought I’d share the story with you. If you want to become a distributor and start a business, I have no idea if it pays or not. That will be your call.

If you would like to trial the service and send a card free, go to:

www.sendoutcards.com/malcolmauld

This is not a pitch to build my network, as I don’t have one. It’s just a damn fine service and if you’re like most people, you’ll love sending and receiving a customised card.

Merry Ho Ho…

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They laughed as I sat down at the keyboard, but when I began to email…

06 Friday Dec 2013

Posted by Malcolm Auld in Content Marketing, Copywriting, Direct Marketing, Email marketing, Social Media

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

content marketing, copywriting, direct marketing, email marketing, John Caples, social media

The headline above was the title of my white paper about email marketing. I wrote it over 15 years ago in the dim dark 1990’s. It eventually evolved into my book, Email Marketing Made Easy.

they_laughed_small

For those of you who know your marketing history, the headline was a complete rip-off of John Caples’ famous “They laughed as I sat down at the piano, but when I started to play!“. I even used a similar visual. And I gave away thousands of the white papers. To quote Drayton Bird, who I believe quoted my old boss David Ogilvy, “search the world and steal the best”.

So it was interesting to receive this article from my friend Patrick Collister, publisher of that brilliant creative resource The Directory. It refers to the famous ad by John Caples – see below. Caples was an advertising pioneer – and one of the world’s most prestigious advertising award programmes is named after him. The article claims the driving force behind much of the internet’s viral content is in fact, this 1926 advertisement.

John Caples piano ad

And the article’s right. There is almost nothing new online. People are doing the same things they have always done, just faster, with more people (most of whom they don’t know) and in greater volume.

The blank screen of death

But the key to the success of the ad, is what all good copywriters know when faced with the dreaded blank screen of death as they start to write. I’ll quote the article:

“What Caples understood first was that creating the piano ad was not simply about selling piano lessons to those who did not know how to play. Rather, he captured his audience with the promise of emotional benefit; the boy in the ad feels emotion after successfully playing the piano when no one believed in him, and those reading the ad are encouraged to be proud of him and want to replicate that same emotion for themselves (“maybe I can learn how to play the piano, and that can be me!”)”

People buy emotionally and justify rationally

People always buy emotionally and justify rationally. And that applies to all purchases, whether they buy in a retail store, online or the phone. Think of what your friends or colleagues do after they buy a new car for example. For the following month they completely bore you and their FB friends to death, justifying the purchase with rational facts eg I got a great trade-in, or the dealer gave me free cup-holders, or it goes from zero to 100 mph in 3.6 seconds.

What they rarely do is say “I bought the red sports car because I think I look cool when sitting at the lights and it will help me attract chicks.” Oops I just realised I once owned a red sports car. Let’s not go there.

red sports car

The headlines on your website, in your subject line, your PPC ads, your white papers, in fact all your content marketing, must contain an emotional benefit. And it should be the benefit most appealing to only those people most likely to buy from you. Don’t try to appeal to everyone – just to someone – your best prospect.

Caples’ delivered many wonderful quotes and his book, Tested Advertising Methods, is essential reading for all marketers. Here’s some of his thoughts on headlines – and they apply equally today with content marketing as much as they did in print advertising decades ago. And a warning for you, his thoughts involve common sense, not something you’ll find in digital marketing land:

“…if the headline is poor, the copy will not be read. And copy that is not read does not sell goods. On the other hand, if the headline is a good one, it is a relatively simple matter to write the copy.”

It’s a shame so many of the alleged digi-spruikers and cyber-hustlers haven’t studied marketing history. If they had, they would be more knowledgeable and in many cases stop wasting time creating irrelevant content and BS tips for online success. Almost everything they need to know to succeed with digital marketing has already been written – most of it before the internet was invented, or their parents were born.

Hmmm I have an idea for a headline: “They laughed when I said I was a social media expert, but when I began to Tweet…”

Maybe I can run a split-run test with:

“They laughed when I said I was a social media expert, but when I posted food photos on Facebook…”

Social media unicorn

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